CEREAL killer

2007-12-30T00:41:00.000+08:00

mild se7en, again

2007-12-30T00:28:00.000+08:00

mild se7en

2007-09-06T21:37:00.001+08:00

KIWIS

because i got bored,

2007-08-19T18:58:00.001+08:00

church is but a hierachy of people

church and God have grown to become two separate affairs. they aren't exactly as exclusive as it used to be anymore. God i define, as the Almighty and Creator of Heaven and Earth. Church I now define, as the place i visit to fulfil my duties as a christian, a place i go to try and seek some form of solace (translates to spiritual sanity in my sense), pray, worship, try and pay attention during sermon, repent, amen. drink, smoke, curse and swear, fuck.

i wont deny having a loving cg. but i reciprocate none of their actions. i'm sorry.

as for them, it frustrates me to see nothing happening. nobody bothers anymore. not even the decency to ask if they're attending service. they have no cg. this is exile island, and i hate it. why's no one to care, why's no one to love, fuck you all people. fuck you all. makes church like a place where people fight (god versus the devil *snorts* you wish). you fight to prove your worth. for attention and love. if your life proves too difficult to break into, they send you a little row boat off to the island of Exile.

dead or alive, no one cares.

FUCK THIS BECAUSE IT IS WHAT I SEE THE CHURCH BECOMING, THROUGH THEM.

2007-06-07T13:20:00.000+08:00

this is our anthem

just like the holocaust
they are fighting
they are fighting
they are fighting

they are dying
they are dying
they are dying

some will watch
some will empathize
some will be left out
most will be left out

most have already died but
the brave will fight
the brave will fight

everyone will die.
everyone dies.

2007-05-11T00:29:00.000+08:00

it's only the start of the semester,

i am awfully tired

and deadlines are stressing the hell out of me.

2007-04-29T12:54:00.000+08:00

swim in the ocean

so i lost the battle
the fight for sociology
i might so die in basic sub-editing

if i could whine, i'd whine about what i'll miss out on. like...

learning oppurtunities (such as consumerism i suppose) in socio and,
working perfectly well, performing and surpassing the average with sarah, leraine, siew and jonny (yes jonny, our only testosterone)

BUT...

i take comfort in the fact that i've got great friends like sarah, leraine and siew
who are there to make things a whole lot better
(:

and God, to trust that He has better plans for me in sub-editing
He'd better have anyway

2007-04-10T15:25:00.000+08:00

Lots of clear blue skies

Drake's Apartment - where we lived

Lakehouse by the swan river

Rottnest Island

BYE BYE.

2007-04-01T00:11:00.000+08:00

The Aboriginal

i got attacked by an aboriginal, last sunday.
he was seated diagonally behind (picture a perpendicular) me.
he snatched the bottle of water from my hands, while i took a nap on the bus.
i thought he was thirsty, so i didn't bother.
then he dropped the bottle. deliberately.
he kicked me on my arm to fetch the bottle back.

2007-03-13T07:59:00.000+08:00

you dub?

i'm feeling slightly nervous that im flying this sunday

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOOO,
what about you?

2007-03-04T17:04:00.000+08:00

hairy harry

because the weather's so gloomy...

perth's going to feel like this and,
we could be lazing in bed til mid afternoon
i cannot imagine what i'll do during those 3 weeks
passing the day by slowly quickly
how you'd be busy and alone

we were all chilling out at starbucks before heading for Harry's. it was interesting to hear things from a new persepctive.

then Harry's...

live accoustics. some jazz here and there. a good place to settle your GIRLFRIENDS, drink (not get wasted) and smoke the night away.

very good, i like. (:

2007-03-02T12:44:00.000+08:00

slip ons, sleep on

(TRIES TO WHINE)
i want polka dotted vans, because pink pengs are dying. . .

SAVE THE PENGUINS,

2007-02-27T12:16:00.000+08:00

feels like gravel

brother: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! THE NEXT TIME YOU FALL YOU WANT TO CLOSE YOUR MOUTH.

mother: i think you better throw your shoes away cos they make you fall.

i think we had the funniest fall ever. if i saw someone fall like us, it will be really really difficult to wipe that ugly sight out of my head.

it was just plain clumsy and hilarious!

2007-02-22T21:53:00.000+08:00

2 OPTIONS

i wish to rant and get things off my chest sohere's what i really have to say...

fundamentally, for all that you've addressed today,
bottom line: i think i know you care.

you were spot on about many things

but a part of it came across as insults -
failing our families and society?

serve fully or leave,
i get it.

2007-02-18T02:34:00.000+08:00

YAY!

the girl's back, her __________ saved her!

and because chinese new year is so boring, my parents are bringing us to lounge. they EVEN asked if she would like to join us.

(okay, so maybe my parents are pretty cool after all)

i think we're going to have to try VERY HARD to not do anything silly infront of my parents.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

2007-02-15T16:15:00.000+08:00

MELISSA P.

while YOU'RE doing work in audio class,

i did not expect you to:
surprise me under my block early in the morning
bake for me (i really thought it was for janine)

and...

I REALLY APPRECIATE IT.

i enjoyed the surprise, love your banana unintended pudding cake with a border around it and cigarette thing

together with patrick starfish.

i hope you love the new bras and tongue stud.

2007-02-13T14:42:00.000+08:00

SHA(RED)

while waiting f0r TEO FUN GI to come,

I AM IN AWE OF PRODUCT (RED)'s MARKETING/ BRANDING PROGRAMME.

(sarah's calling me a convert)

the brains behind everything.

2007-02-12T01:53:00.000+08:00

playing with probability

TFG -

Original:
The Favourite Girl

Li [Darwin] Jia's evolution:
Tan Fook Guan

Now as we all know it:
Teo Fun Gus
and
Teo Fun Gi

2007-02-10T15:18:00.000+08:00

hello i'm mainstream
and i'm indie

A dedicated entry to the INDIE'D team
(the overwhelming oestrogen and a mono testosterone)

I LOVE YOU ALL.

WE WORK TOO WELL TOGETHER.

its hard to find people who can keep up to it.

2007-02-08T03:03:00.000+08:00

i have never ever...

felt this stressed before. (downs a shot)

it sucks to work with incompetent people who are irresponsible all at the same time.
they deserve to be screwed.
and i do not care if im a christian taught about grace.

screw you all in the board room, fucked ups.

_ | _

i look forward to walking you to class, bus rides home, walking you home, spending time over at your place,

because YAY!

2007-02-05T20:20:00.000+08:00

i puked all over her bed
and myself

our drinking session was crazy.

we had baileys, kahlua (the name makes me want to puke), tequila, and absolut vanilla.

i got so drunk i believe i passed out.

i didn't know i puked all over her bed and myself until i woke up at 7 and she told me so.

i have totally no recollection of the things that had happened.

which were: they made her dance for a few seconds, sarah puked like mad in the toilet, jules set the alarm off cos he had to pee, it woke her parents up, jules dared sarah to make out with leraine, they did not

2007-02-04T05:53:00.000+08:00

5 Girls 2 Guys

at 5.51am

THE.BUSINESS.PLAN.IS.FUCKING.DONE
complete with cover page

we will drink tonight and make love like we should.

EVERYBODY, GO FUCK YOUR PROJECT MATE.

(peace)

2007-02-03T02:34:00.000+08:00

PROZAC

rushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrush
rushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrushrush

this sunday, after 8, will be hours of great rest and EXTREME PLEASURE.

(SCREAMS AND RUN AROUND LIKE A FUCKING MAD KONG BUSHMAN)

2007-01-28T17:49:00.000+08:00

so HELLO WEEKENDS.

you were crazy under those sheets,

greatest week i've ever had. in order of those who came but a greater one to YOU, SOSW (if this fits your initials)

the 5 girlfriends: thank you for taking time off. it was pretty much IN ADVANCE, and i never knew you all were meeting for me. and for listening, be there for me if i fall. thank you all, love you.

crystal: greatest friend, i love you. thank you for EVERYTHING, really everything. the situation's difficult to accept, and i may/will not have your support, but be there for me still. i just need to know you're there, because it matters. i may have lost THAT right, which you know, but, i hope you remember Dignity. keep it. i love you.

keith: thank you for dinner, and all past dinners. you pay too much for everything.

the caregroup: i love you all.

lijia: i am using your wallet now. FREE HUGS. (stiffens body)

YOUYOUYOU: make me jump up from sleep. for everything suck, bite, love again. i'd embrace you with kisses and love. i love you, different from the rest i've said, (PLEASE HIGHLIGHT THIS SECTION!), i love you.

2007-01-24T23:34:00.000+08:00

HIBER-COMA

i am horribly tired.

i need to hibernate or go into a coma.

faith, ezri and FAVOURITE SOAP invaded. unexpected and uninvited (but its good).

bite, suck, love

WE ARE GOING TO COMPLETE OUR INDIE'D BUSINESS PLAN BY 3RD FEB, AND GO DRINK OURSELVES SILLY ON 4TH FEB AND REPORT TO SCHOOL ON 5TH WITH MAJOR HANGOVERS (AND TRY NOT TO PUKE ON OUR BUSINESS PLAN) COS ITS SUBMISSION DAY!

(it's a really happy thought of relief)

2007-01-23T00:26:00.000+08:00

PETRIFIED

xena, pls slay those girls for me. i will leap into your arms and smoulder you with kisses!

SAC NANNY CAMP is scary. the girls threw horrible questions at me. they couldn't figure whether to address me by MISS (my name) or MR (my name). its actually quite easy, just (my name).

while leraine went away, they seized the opportunity to question my orientation and preferences.

my reply, "my friends will answer that for me." (smiles and walk away)

then sarah pretended to be my gf, it was hilarious!

and they pushed it further and asked, "are you it?"

i dont see why i have to answer their questions.

2007-01-19T03:41:00.000+08:00

THE AM OH

in the lab
where people just walked us by

(BIG FAT SMILE)
you could well be the only - i'd be foolish and sinful.
because i dont see myself deliberately doing so after.

2007-01-14T22:16:00.000+08:00

declarative statement

i feel the need to declare a statement, just so it assures -
so it tries to overwhelm the sudden displacement
and sliently chase the unpleasant
so it makes finale easier

(wow that actually sounds quite emo)

2007-01-11T11:21:00.000+08:00

BITCHY BITCHY BEACHY

here's a short conversation of high ENTERTAINMENT VALUE. enjoy...

VIRUS: i need help to get 2As for the next 2 submission cos i failed my previous 2. can you ____ or ____ me 1 photo for each submission? please? haha...

CEREAL KILLER: HAHA!

VIRUS: Um, is that a yes or a no?

CEREAL KILLER: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!! no.

senseless imbecile.

2007-01-07T16:36:00.000+08:00

the real 2007 begins NOW.

jasmine poon said this,
"this year is going to be the year of pruning and change..."

i think i may well
________ again.
like before.

so long and goodnight,
so long and goodnight.

2007-01-06T14:19:00.000+08:00

straight light runs

here are some night shots. fairly typical. BUT DO COMMENT.

2007-01-06T02:56:00.000+08:00

complexities of the mind

bridge.
they connect.

bridge;
truths.

bridge;
people.

pass them by.

2007-01-02T13:05:00.000+08:00

TO A TRUE FRIEND,

i never knew
you'd cry that much
for -.

you bore yourself so true,
and naked.
it is appalling.
and i do not despise it.

in the nick of time,
we will hurl a prayer.
so come along with me...

SIGNING OFF,
shattered dignity

2006-12-31T01:02:00.000+08:00

THIS IS A FAMILY THING

it was so so good.
so so good.
all over -.
i love.

eh you! its more than just surreal!

eventful eventful. evelyn's (screaminsanity and bohokid's colleague) birthday party was indianish. indian kareoke, indian cuisine, indian butch and friends/cousins who got a cab for us.

i puked in the cab just when we were close to alighting. then screaminsanity puked. while screaminsanity scrambled for money in both our wallets, i rolled out of the cab onto this patch of grass. screaminsanity rolled out too. more puke. cab driver complained and made noise.

spent the night at screaminsanity's place. thank god for her sister. she fetched us puke bags.

2006-12-26T01:58:00.000+08:00

it was the best high

this is so gay, but well, MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.

after caroling, there was the best high ever.
very nice.

2006-12-21T14:34:00.000+08:00

some happy some sad

i am shortening my life quick.

1. i drink alcohol on an empty stomach
2. -

it gets *BEEPING high. save me. i grow weak.

it was crystal's birthday yesterday, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LADY. LOVE YOU MUCH. now there's no need for any hiding.

and SCREAMINSANITY,
thank you for your bed, blanket, clothes, and BEER. so for all this, if you need someone to clean your house while your parents are away, i COULD TRY.

2006-12-17T13:58:00.000+08:00

Hi-at-us

we (boho-kid, screaminsanity and i) drank again last night. jo was to join us, but did not in the end.

it was so fun.

we got so high, sneaked into the theatre, and caught a free NC16 french film. the alcohol really kicked in after the show. we held each others' hands, squeezed onto the escalator, the 2 girls were amazed by the pink xmas tree and felt the need to touch it. so they did.

we were SO HIGH. the night was great.

love, love, love.

2006-12-16T03:19:00.000+08:00

Who Killed Santa 2

Brilliant game structure;

Intense plot;

Great video (love the way it was shot);

but horrible narration - highly exaggerated, and inappropriate tone.

but overall, it was a job well done.

2006-12-13T23:32:00.000+08:00

susie don't you know

THERE IS SO MUCH I WANT TO SAY

but so little i can reveal

. . .

Reply to screaminsanity: (SUCKLES RIGHT NOW)

2006-12-10T13:40:00.000+08:00

stars and moon

happy feet-ed/kuai le jiao-ed yesterday. it wasn't exactly a great movie, but there was GREAT COMPANY.

we drank a little but we didnt get high. it was all minimal. dont worry, there weren't ciggarrettes involved.

and im proud of myself for not having eaten anything (besides grapes and coffee) and drinking on an empty stomach, WITHOUT getting the knock out. guinness draught with mars bar, would have been perfect, but well carlsberg's not too bad. plus carlsberg's much more affordable.

after the movie, screaminsanity and i, walked our way down to esplanade for the night rider. we took 2hrs to get frm where we were to the bus stop. it was so fun. we trespassed on that-place-that-plays-good-music-outside-suntec. cheap cheap thrill. we climbed into the bar area and opened their fridges! didn't dare and didn't want to touch the cash register AT ALL. then we sat on the big high seats before making a move for the next thrill stop - the orb thing.

the orb's a huge circular sculpture plonked in the middle of the streets. it was cold and comfortable. maybe not too comfortable after A WHILE. it was fun. the night sky in town really amazes me. just where you least expect it.

it was as if God had thrown a bucketful of sand across the skies.

God, our creator, created the stars and moon and sky.
recognise that.
He is the one true artist.

2006-12-08T23:27:00.000+08:00

more than just melodrama

(damn it, i will just remove this entry)

2006-12-01T11:44:00.000+08:00

DISCLAIMER: no one has been hurt during the shoot.

people, vote. help me decide which to submit. i really love the first one.

and... THANKS LIJIA FOR HELPING!

RECENTLY ADDED... and the macro shot i submitted

would anybody love to buy these photographs?! i'd gladly sell them to you. quote your price, we'll negotiate. i need some reimbursements.

THE END.

2006-11-26T01:42:00.000+08:00

starry host above, will you guide my path?

people telling
people telling
people

it ends with God.

2006-11-20T00:48:00.000+08:00

arch-i-texture

im torn between...

this
and
this

2006-11-16T23:55:00.000+08:00

11 years old

during creative writing today, we were made to write and share our lifestory. this was what i wrote:

11 years old
attended 1st funeral wake. touched and felt a dead body.
chinese traditions; superstitious; religious
grandma passed away.

I remebered wishing the death of my grandmother. She was ill, she had diabetes. She lost her sight and her kidneys failed her. My dad had to regularly send her to the hospital. I felt like I lost my father. He never could bring us to the park on weekends anymore. She was a burden, i wished she was dead.

When she died, i was scared. i was afraid her soul would haunt me because i wished her dead. i was afraid her soul would see through my evil heart.

I remembered the religious prayers and rites conducted at the wake. It felt all supernatural. The bells chimed to every mourners' misery. The priest chanted his song of monotony. I never quite liked it. They were surreal to me.

I needed a less haunting religion.

2006-11-12T23:48:00.000+08:00

i will come clean tonight

i've been struggling with an addiction.
recently.
its cigarettes.
this is a decision - to come clean about it.

2006-11-10T01:15:00.000+08:00

that nauseating feeling

i've been getting the same headaches
since last friday

the smell of cigarrettes
reminds me of last friday

the toilet bowl was in my face

my temperament lures me
to do what i did
last friday

recently added

reply to screaminsanity: i heart party girls, but 'party girls heart me' MORE (freaking shameless)

2006-11-04T12:09:00.000+08:00

an episode of blatant mistakes

yesterday was a horror
there were fightings and interventions
followed by great jubilee
then it tweaked

signing off ,
unspoken misery

2006-10-30T00:00:00.000+08:00

Gal 2:20

i've been water baptised today,
finally.

i ought to feel like a saint and be one who's slow to anger. but... i can't take this lying down, and i have got to set the record straight.

why you should never call me a 'brother' or even associate me with one just because my head is freaking shaved:

1. i get bloody offended
2. i find it rude and highly disrespectful - why? simply the phenomena: dignity

the line exists. it distinguishes humour from sarcasm.

2006-10-29T00:43:00.001+08:00

D DAY

my brother just came into my room and started rambling about things. this is what he said,

"do you know that mommy and daddy are very good parents? their advice was for you to get baptised only when you're 21. you chose to get baptised at 17, and still they're giving you their full support. so learn to cherish them."

okay, i'm touched.

i've always seen water baptism as a personal decision i'd have to make in my christian walk. it has never been one that i see having to be shared with my parents. after all, it concerns my committment and dedication to what i proclaim my 'religion'. no doubt, parents affect my decision (but to a certain extent), because i seek their blessing in baptism.

unfortunately, it serves also a darn good excuse to escape baptism. whatever, all hail the escapist.

2006-10-25T23:22:00.000+08:00

an assault

i am going to get water baptised this weekend.

i did a horrible thing yesterday.
it felt good.

my dad asked if i was giving my mom the cold shoulder.
he thought i'd wait til i was 18.
he asked if i needed them to witness it.

i am not giving my mom the cold shoulder.
i thought she was mad at me.
i thought i'd give her some space.

i do not discuss things with her.
i do not love her as much.
it breaks her heart.

i am getting water baptised this weekend.

(okay too much i's)

2006-10-21T13:11:00.000+08:00

Degrees of Love: Man

Recently added:
im being fickle and i can't make up my mind which to upload. so fine. i like this better, the previous just doesn't feel right.

Original Photo Upload Courtesy of Hongky.

Reply to screaminsanity: it's the thrill that comes with shaving my head. and hongky's a girl, she's the one in the middle of the picture. the one with 'narcoticism' slapped across her body.

2006-10-21T01:42:00.000+08:00

all clean

ITS OFFICIAL, I'VE GOT MY HEAD SHAVED.

but there's still a little funny tuft

i think my mom's going to cry when she sees my hair

|:

2006-10-15T17:59:00.000+08:00

POP-art

an attempt at POP-art. again, if you appreciate it and would love to save a copy for yourself, DO I.M ME.

/////

TAG REPLIES

zephanie: i still love my course.

screaminsanity: is this sophia? it gets intimidating when all 4 of you stare at me!

edited

screamingsanity: im not psychic. just that your language gives you away.

2006-10-15T01:07:00.000+08:00

sunshine won't you be my mother

testimony sharing last cg was different, because i had to share about My Story. i am very much a private person. my public character: the liberal-conservative. i have no qualms about public speaking, but not when the subject matter revolves solely around myself.

still i pulled through, and it was God's calling i was sharing about.

before service, faith met me up for shepherding. i never quite understood why we'd lose our rights to recognition, living as christians. i find it only fair that one gets credited for the things he does. same with copy right laws, plagiarism is considered an offence because the original work does not get credited for.

thinking along those lines, i guess God is often the one we 'plagiarise'.

when you get it, everything makes sense.

2006-10-10T02:58:00.000+08:00

would you be happier?

take a look at these photos. it was shot while leaving tampines. would definitely be a winning shot, if not for the blur.

according to a passer-by, the subject has a home but refuses to return. she is obviously diabetic, judging from the wounds on her leg.

-----

as i was taking the photos, a man chased me away. he thought i was trying to disturb the old lady. what an experience. i feel like a photo-journalist.

2006-10-07T11:41:00.000+08:00

depth of field

photograph post, all shot in school. bet you never knew TEMASEK POLYTECHNIC has such beautiful sights.

NOTE: if you do appreciate these photos and would like to save a copy for youself, do IM me.

2006-10-03T19:46:00.000+08:00

Little Children with Balloons

here's a picture of a cute little girl. it was shot last sunday at fcbc's children's day carnival. she was playfully shy. she hid behind her dad when she caught me taking pictures of her.

her dad said, "she found you. now you gotta pretend to walk away and come back 5 mins later."

but anyway have you ever wondered, why do children seem to have a natural attachment to balloons? could it be that balloons resemble placentas, and it makes them feel safe?

i wonder why...

2006-09-27T12:07:00.000+08:00

lips of an angel

back from leadership camp. it's different. different from the ones i've attended back in high school. this one's less comfortable, less expensive, but nevertheless, an atmosphere of exuberance and love.

there's the urgecy to move on. people are motivated and encouraged to take up roles of leadership for god - stepping out of the pit, a comfortable place you've made out for yourself, into the wilderness of leadership.

i've always viewed leadership as prostituting ones' life in exchange for nothing. you give up your rights; rights to reject any church activities. you give up your time; time that could be spent with yourself and friends; time that could be spent having fun. you give you your life; life which is your rights and time.

during altar call, there was THE prompting. i responded, but at the end of it, i questioned if it could be the pseudo environment that has got me responding postively. however, it could really be the Holy Spirit.

my decision was to go with the latter.

2006-09-15T15:29:00.000+08:00

react-less driving

again, the photo's shot on the bukit timah/clementi expedition...

2006-09-14T00:14:00.000+08:00

cart wheels

(looks to audrey) CART WHEELS DO MAKE YOU FEEL HIGH!!!

everything started with faith wanting to piggy back me, then really piggy back-ing me, and finally off to a series of cart wheels around the basement level of cuppage plaza. honestly, i've never had anyone piggy back me before cos its scary (alright maybe with the exception of my father when i was younger). cheap thrills, but worth the adrenaline rush.

cart wheels are fun to do, but my legs never seem to fall perfectly. the din we created at the basement got so bad the security guy had to come to make us shut up.

ladies, lets go on a cart wheels date after your promos. i'll bring my lomo and we'll do stupid stuff together, AGAIN.

2006-09-12T01:20:00.000+08:00

photo entry

finally a photo entry! the photographs were shot last friday, during an expedition around bukit timah/clementi with the company of roy beans. roy's got really good shots. he's much much better at taking humans than i do. i'll try to post 2 of his photos by next entry.

2006-09-05T06:22:00.000+08:00

if that's what it takes to open our hearts

okay cindy, im so sorry for not wishing you a proper happy birthday yet.

and asher too, I HAVEN'T EVEN WISHED YOU A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

so to the both of you,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I HOPE YOU BOTH HAD FUN ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!

however insincere it seems, just a lousy 'happy birthday' in caps, i am really sorry.

(off to happier stuff)

sunday was great. it has really been a while since we all met up for dinner and beer. enjoyed the late night conversation with hongky/honky (why am i calling you that?), and the little something else...

2006-08-24T23:33:00.000+08:00

andy warhol is the greatest

while i was taking my break, i decided to do some photoediting. in an attempt to stunt a warhol, i got this!

i feel really accomplished. fyi, the photo's shot somewhere along haji lane.

YAY! YAY! YAY!

2006-08-23T21:35:00.000+08:00

THE TAIL IS GONE!

i cut my hair today, not me, but the lady.

THE TAIL IS GONE. I CHOSE TO LET HER KILL IT. then again, it didn't really look like a tail.

i feel light-headed, literally.

2006-08-13T00:10:00.000+08:00

two fingers separated

yesterday

ultraviolet was a blast. we saw how crazy asher went during the 'warm-ups'. he'll fit perfectly fine in a club (its a compliment here). cailin was helping to draw crosses on everyone's arm. i didn't know that when the purple light falls on the paint area, it'll illuminate like some ultraviolet 'ray'? all this i found out only after everything ended.

something i picked up over the past few months: learning to worship with your eyes open. playing guitar for cell forces you to worship with your eyes open. you can't possibly close your eyes all the time, and have the worship leader smack you to signal that she's transiting to the next song or that she wants the bridge to the song you're playing now.

i enjoyed the free worship part alot. i was observing the way the musicians were playing and worshipping all at the same time. wow. the female backups had really good vocals. strong and all in one accord.

today

church's praise and worship is definitely not as good as planetshakers, all this in the technical sense. they played oldies, or what i would term, classic hits. eg: reaching for you, we want to see jesus lifted high.

(the following content holds highly SINFUL thoughts about church)

i felt praise and worship was horrible cos the the worship leader was shouting the songs into the mic. that worked really well for prasie. but for worship, it gets really painful. i understand that the worship leader was trying to fill the atmosphere, but what about pitching? one of the songs for worship was 'dont pass me by'. i applaud their efforts for attempting a tricky song, but it sounded quite bad. still, the guitarists were good.

off to something less churchy...

next time you visit long john's and find that your chicken looks pathetically small, try this...

person over the counter: enjoy your meal...
me: ewl, the chickens look like birds! they're tiny.
poc: yup they've shrunk. i'll give you another peice of chicken.

HAHA! and mind you, that person us an extra peice of chicken each. we were staring at our plates wondering, "so what do we now with all that chicken?".

just try it, you might get be lucky like us.

2006-08-11T00:49:00.000+08:00

doctor, you're such a bitch
you have a face of a dog

the doctor at tampines polyclinic was such a bitch. in fact worse than that. she was like some motherf .

i bet she thinks i was some delinquet running away from class and going to the doctor's cos i needed an mc to get away scott free.

doctor: so what do you have?
me: er, flu and slight cough.
doctor: your nose isn't even dripping. how long has it been going on?
me: since monday.

(doctor proceeds to stick the ice cream stick into my throat and then leave my saliva dripping from my mouth)

me: may i have an mc please?
doctor: why what class do you have?
me: journalism.
doctor: from what time?
me: from 2-4pm.
doctor: this is your time sheet and your prescription.

(and she chucked those documents in my hands!!!)

what a bitch. screw that whore face of hers. aren't doctors supposed to be nice and friendly?! i'm never going back to tampines polyclinic. the atmophere and lighting sucks. it felt more like a mental asylum than anything else.

okay, maybe the doctor just had a bad day.

2006-08-06T01:03:00.000+08:00

thank god for SABBATHS

this week's finally coming to an end. cheers to all the hardworking people. we deserve 2 days of SABBATHS at least.

i like rewarding myself with alcohol, especially after a long tiring week. but it feels like guilty pleasure indulging in a bottle of drink straight after church service.

bought this drink that was a mix of green tea with whisky. tasted quite good after a while, but before that i thgt it tasted horrible. the dumbest thing that happened was that i had forgotten to check for its alcohol content before paying, and realised it only after half the bottle was gone.

plus you know what happens when you drink on an empty and have a low resistance for alcohol.
could barely focus my eyes on anything after that. then accompanied crystal for dinner at subway. she tortures me by making me turn my head quickly to look at people she spots. overall im proud that at least when im all 'tipsy' i don't go around sprouting nonsense or laughing like some mad person. i just take a very long time to react to things and speak in a long slurred way.

normalcy returned after about an hour or so.

end of alcohol diary.

2006-07-16T22:51:00.000+08:00

just stop

will you stop pushing
i've said no
you asked for a reason
i gave you one
but you're just bloody greedy
you never stop.

you
i told her no
you intervened
bad move.
cos it make me bitter

to obey or to honour -
2 different concepts altogether.
let your yes be yes,
and your no be no.
my answer's no.
this time for real.

- myself

2006-07-02T00:24:00.000+08:00

don't think, just SHOOT.

ATTACK OF THE LOMOS was a blast.

lomography is such an art. i want to be part of the lomo embassy in singapore, though i don't know how.

since we get to try the lomos from 10am-1pm today, i've decided it'd be best to kill 2 birds with one stone. that was to bring my dad's sony h5 along.

still lomos are the best things on earth (for now i'd say). the wonders of just shooting through the lense without worrying about anything. okay, maybe just worried about how many shots you're left on the film, that's all.

going to send the films for developing tmr. then i'll upload the photos taken from the lomo and the digi cam.

you'll be the judge.

2006-06-30T21:00:00.000+08:00

a dreamer dreams she never dies

updates...

*CM Marketing (journal) - A+
Graphics Design Fundamentals (logo) - A
Media and Society (mid sem test) - B
J1 Newswriting (mid sem test) - D+
Essential Graphics (skills test) - F

GPA : 2.57

this is probably an inaccurate gauge, but still it serves to guide.

my GPA is obviously not of standard. that F-ugly D+.

nvm, great job done for A's and B.

LOMO DAY TOMORROW.

2006-06-27T20:36:00.000+08:00

the magic pen tip trick is stupid nonsense

after some linking arnd, i found lady x's blog. my brother knows person lady pretty well. it was embarassing to read whatever posted.

HAHAHAHA!

now i get what asher means, when he told me he found his sister's 'prospective' _____ blog.

HAHAHAHA!!

but well my bro did mention lady x before. we've even chatted about her.

they study together. but i bet they were studying each other.

2006-06-26T21:51:00.000+08:00

i'm in love with the world
through the eyes of a girl

why im thrilled:
1. i got an A- for those damn marketing journals!!!!
2. i found people to date for try-a-lomo this saturday (kow-a-bang-ah, aiyah however you spell it)

kill joy:
1. i got a D+ for my journalism test.

and btw, my grades have been really extreme. here's why:

Essential Graphics skills test: F
Graphics Design Fundamentals: A

i'll update this again when i get all my grades back. i want to do well for MedSoc, cos its my fav subject.

2006-06-24T16:58:00.000+08:00

Lady Bird Something

today's a stay home day just like yesterday. don't you just love sprinting to toilets, feeling the falls of diarrhea squirting out from the little black hole.

alright im weak. my mom thinks im getting 'food poisoning' so often cos i hardly eat deep fried oily food so when i do take those food, my stomach/gastric rejects it. so apparently, fish and chips on friday made me ill.

the cat/dog's been coming to my house to poop and pee. but we get the town council guy to clean them now. my mom's a little smarter. she suggested laying newspapers at the area the animal poops. and every since, my house's animal waste free. maybe its the faces on the newspaper that scares the creature away.

my parents must be damn sad im home today, cos they can't make love like they normally do.

2006-06-13T00:57:00.000+08:00

you know she's your mom when...

1. she makes you run errands for her (and it means going to inconvenient far away places)
2. she makes you clear a mysterious pile of poop some loose assed animal left at your doorstep (its true)
3. she calls the house phone and then your mobile (continuosly) when you're sleeping

on #2, i was made to clear some poop today. bloody animal. if it was a dog its so going to be a bitch, or a shitty assed bastard.

that dignified animal, left ITS modest throne of poop at my door step. literally. for those who live in a cosy little home called the HDB, you know there's usually this small little flight of step, before you officially REACH the door. right, that animal pooped its dinner/supper/whole day's meal on the little area before those little 2 steps to the official HOME area.

and my mom's greeting over the phone was, "could you clear the pile of shit outside our house for me please? it must be some cat's shit. not from our neighbour's dog."

it could have been, "there's some excrement piled neatly at our doorstep. before you run the errand for me, you might like to clear the solid matter first? well i hope you hadn't breakfast."

the smell was so bad, the moment i opened the door, it smacks you in the face. no not kidding, and its not exaggerated. its THAT bad.

while i stared at that pile of poop, i was thinking of the different ways i could clear it without having to touch it (with gloves on even). so YAY, i discovered a new sport called "FLICK THAT POOP".

for the sport you need:
1. ONE large enough plastic bag to contain the poop when you flick them into
2. ONE pair of plastic gloves to protect your flicking hand
3. ONE large roll of newspapers/magazines to flick
4. YOUR OTHER HAND to block your nostrils

most importantly, stay at least one arm's length away from the target. you don't want to fall face flat on it.

instructions:
1. flick the poop accurately in the bag
2. continue flicking til its all gone
3. don't forget to block your nostrils
4. when you're done, dump the whole bag of poop down your flat.
5. you can try killer litter and hope it lands right on the same animal's face.

it was so grosse.

i emptied 1/4 of multi-purpose dettol on the cement slab, and made sure it disinfected the entire area, so its smells of only dettol. all this while i went to the national skin centre to get some pills my mom needed.

after that i left aroma therapy outside my house - right at the doorstep. mmm, smells great now.

2006-06-06T21:29:00.000+08:00

An Example of a Delayed Intro
(taken from journalism lect8)

Chua Chee Wee wasn't wearing his seat belt.
He was talking on his mobile phone. He had the phone in one hand, and the other on his steering wheel.
Bad idea.
And then, he was stopped by a patrolling traffic cop in Clemenceau Avenue. He handed his mobile phone to Traffic Police Sergent Shirma Kasmuri when she asked for it.
But whe she told him she was going to seize it as an exhibit, he snatched it back from her, got into his car and drove off.
Bad move.
Yesterday, a magistrate jailed the 34 year-old odd-job worker one week for refusing to let the policer have the phone on Jan 18.

---

Another example of Information Gathering: Direct Observation
(taken from lect4)

He stood in the dock with his head bowed. Looking tense and worried, he was handcuffed to another man who was also jailed a year for having sex with the same girl.

2006-06-06T14:51:00.000+08:00

F KILLS

ah shit, i've got an F for Essential Graphics.

and i've grown past the age where F's are the coolest grade ever.

holey moley.

2006-06-03T12:17:00.000+08:00

quick update: emerge conference 2006

emerge was awesome. i love worshipping in a huge congregration, praying altogether in the spirit. the style of their guitarists are similar to those of hillsongs united.

didn't really get their praise songs though. felt they sounded weird, but still all was good. everyone worshipped 'in spirit and in truth'.

the separable difference between CHC and Hope is that, chc prays for anything and everything with tremendous faith. which is truely amazing. the altar call really opened my eyes. pastor khong prayed for those who have sinned in the area of sexual immorality, with which, promiscuity. after the congregation has responded, all the believers (a general term i give to anyone and everyone present) joined hands and prayed for one another.

during the altar call, God reminded me of a particular friend. a friend who has lost himself/herself to that of mentioned - sexual immorality. foolishness: man's carnal being. things get awry when you put 2 lovebirds together, settling for each other's physical comfort and pleasure. god open our eyes.

to a friend: i really hope you'll come to experience God in a personal manner, soon and very soon. a 3rd person's perspective is never as good as a personal encounter, for you know his love is insatiable. give me the cue when you're ready. in fact, it's about now.

2006-05-30T22:02:00.000+08:00

eventful fright

school started off on a really frightful note. this freaky shit ass person, at least 44 years old, came up near my seat when i was on bus 69, stared really hard at someone in my direction (this i really hope is not me) and then took out his camera phone and snapped a couple of shots. (i really really hope its not me). after that, he continued staring standing at the exact same spot. when i looked at him to see if he was staring at me or what, he stared even harder. and somewhat i have this feeling i was the person he was taking the picture of, cos when i caught him snapping that picture, he stared at me again, and continue snapping. i freaked out and stared out of the window.

then the man went to sit at the the seats that were facing the entire bus, and he continued to stare. this lady in front of me, got so freaked out she got off the bus. and the man still kept staring at me/in my direction.

but what made me confirm that he was staring at me was, when i got off the bus to check if he had followed me or if he was still staring, i found him he peering out of the window and staring at me all the way til i climbed the bridge.

FREAK SHOW! i was so scared, my palms turned clammy. please pray, he's not one of those kidnappers, who'll get me featured in the next season of 'Missing' on Channel5. for the first time in my live, i really understood what fear was all about- perennial fear.

i really hope i don't ever meet that person again. so maybe for a change i'll start taking a different bus route.

ess gra skill test was a major screw up. horrible. i didn't know we had to recreate a vector image, and all i did was to crop the picture and call it a complete piece of work. not until my teacher came to me and asked if i've completed the freehand one, which was the vector image. so i failed miserably. okay so its going to be a F. F for funeral. everybody mourn with me, send me those white chrysanthamums. come on baby, flood my grave with your love.

but, God is still good.

2006-05-28T15:21:00.000+08:00

Love for Enemies

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you maybe sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his suns to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, wat reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your borthers, what are you dong more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therfore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

-Matthew 5: 43-48

I really hate this bitch (a literal female dog) in class. I can't believe I'm actually helping her out with her individual assignment. i think she needs to go change her face, and hide away from existance.

to myself: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HELPING HER?! WHY ARE YOU EVEN GIVING AWAY IDEAS YOU COULD HAVE USED FOR YOURSELF?! ITS GOING TO GROW INTO A MUCH MORE FANTASTIC STORY THAN WHAT YOU HAVE, YOU DIM WIT! IF SHE GETS AN A, SHE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO THANK YOU, AND ALL CREDIT GOES TO HER. SHE WON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT BRILLIANT STORY PLAN YOU FOOLISHLY DONATED.

for the love of God, i'll try VERY HARD to not be calculating with you.

sign off,
sinner (hopping with anger)

2006-05-19T00:09:00.000+08:00

the complete incomplete

from what i've read, i feel suddenly so insensitive to certain people in my life. they include the friends in school. and i really mean insensitivity in a literal manner of being not-sensitive to a person, which obviously takes the form of never expressing how much i really care and am bothered about them.

i am asian, cultural, and conservative.

i fear bearing my emotions naked in-front of people. even to my closest friends, i hold certain reservations. which also explains why i feel mostly uncomfortable about sharing some songs i write (sound so bloody cliche here). but i'm still trying to improve on that.

can't believe how stupidly emo im getting. but its really something i read, and the raw emotions channeled to that writing that evokes so much.

now when i see happy people, i'll know its a whole different story within them.

goodnight everyone.
i've got a date with the lion or elephant tamer tomorrow.

2006-05-13T00:19:00.000+08:00

let's bow our heads in reverence

remember the I heart PARTY GIRLS t-shirt i own? i wore it to school on thursday, and whew, what an embarrassment. but i'll continue wearing that shirt to school, just not on thursdays.

well as you know, i have GDesFund lectures every thursday. fyi, soon3 kueh is the lecturer for that class.

this what what happenend as i was busy chatting with someone seated beside me...

as i was busy chatting...
s.kueh: what party...?
(lect halls turns silent and everyone seems to be staring at me AGAIN!)
s.kueh: I love... can you stand up?
me: (thinking shit what again?)
s.kueh: oh i love party girls... see the heart there. the element of design and logo.
me: -says rather quietly- yah the heart's on my chest somemore!
s.kueh: -laughs- what's your name?
me: bella.
s.kueh: OH. that's an easy name to remember!

then after a while on one of ms. s.kueh's slides... a logo of BELLA SKIN CARE!

me: OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK.
s.kueh: that wasn't on purpose. i just wanted to show certain examples of logo types.
me: yes i see its purely coincidental.

its so difficult to NOT have fun in school, given such circumstances. and yay, i finally learnt how to photo edit faces on photoshop! next time i can remove your eye bags, make you look like you had a NOSE job, press your ears back if you have dumbo ears, and even let you try different hair colours before you do a proper dye!

one more thing,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDHA! (its vesak day)

2006-05-07T00:22:00.000+08:00

rebels for a holy cause

today was my audition as a e. guitarist for the musician team. was told to prepare one praise song, and another worship. but i prepared only Planetshaker's Not Ashamed for praise. i didn't prepare a worship one cos i don't normally play them. until i got a msg from one of the sisters, informing me that it was compulsory to have a praise and a worhip song to audition for.

thank god for jocelyn. she taught me a worship song on the spot. she's also a fanatastic accoustic player.

in total i played...
1. part of Not Ashamed
2. Basket Case though pretty tempted to do Enter Sandman (rhythem only of course)
3. think its called My Heart, Your Home
4. Here Without You

songs #2 and #4 were played because i knew no other christian songs. song #4 was played cos he wanted to test if i knew alternate picking.

its quite a pity i can't scale, which is something every e.guitarist should know. the only scale i know is the almight Aminor pentatonic, major scale and alittle on the blues scale.

well i certainly do hope everything turns out well.

if its in God's plan...

2006-04-27T16:27:00.000+08:00

the four clowns love wearing red

school was enjoyable today, cos i was being a weirdo by not mixing with the girls/people in class. i guess i made it really obvious.

God answered these prayers i made while trying to get to sleep yesterday:
1. helped me find normal friends in school
2. found a project group for CM Marketing

school was fun, cos i was with cailin and some of her 'NORMAL' classmates, that makes them my coursemates as well. they seem like the only 'NORMAL' ones in cmm. and within that group of NORMALITIES, one of them's from my class. YAY HOORAY. one normal classmate found. but at least someone who you can connect with quite easily. his name's Johnathon, but he prefers to be called Johnny.

and another thing to be happy about, i found a group for my marketing project to work with already. and they're all normal people. -cheers-

i think i'm going to love Med Soc (Media & Society) cos its so fun! and lectures are taught by dearly beloved Mrs Felicia Nah. she delivers her lectures really well, and its engaging all at the same time. after Med Soc was Graphics Design Fundamentals. its all about designing logos and stuff. the materials you have to bring are all really artsy things.

the lecturer for GDesFund is ms c.soonsoon. she kept giving us examples on how to market soon soon tau heuy if she were to launch her own brand of tau huey in the future. and then i thought i said it quite softly to cailin, "soon soon soon kuey". upon that, almost everyone had their eyes on me, and people from the back and front seat started cracking up. and then i heard the lecturer go, "there you go, you even have product names for me already". but i didn't know she was refering to me, until this guy from the back seat said, "that was pretty loud you know."

HAHA!

but seriously ah, if she were to ask me to design a logo for her, i'll design something like a flower growing out of a bean. and i'll change the name to Soon Soon Flower Bean. tau huey means, bean flower literally right. but i think bean flower sounds horrible. so Soon Soon Flower Bean. and then i'll change the container, to a pod like thing. which means your tau huey will be shaped like a pod. and not like the regular scooped up ones. then on the top of the tau huey, will be a mark of a flower.

2006-04-24T22:02:00.000+08:00

would you like to join the waterpolo team?

week #1: lecture week!

today's lecture was a really really really brief introduction to Essential Graphics. mostly sitting there for just 40mins to hear the lecturer crap. and i can't believe i wasted $11.60 for cab fare cos i was just about to be late for my very first lecture in TP. i'll just compensate by not spending any unnecessary money (like on food). fyi, i really think spending money on food is quite a waste. im such a miser. -insert sappy violin music-

but anyway, IM GOING TO BE SO DEAD DOING GRAPHICS DESIGNING. shit, not like you haven't seen how an IT idiot i am. i really have to try using photoshop this week, since its only lectures this week. i feel like im so behind time. only now, im starting to get the hang of the audio recording software i 'TRY' to use occasionally. and because graphics designing will be quite a big deal in school, i can't decide whether to get a macbook pro or fujitsu.

i miss DMC 05 and the people there! mostly lynette (the swimmer), hamizah (katrina look alike) and terrence. they're the kind of friends i guess i'll never meet in tp YET.

the culture in TP is obviously different from SP. i prefer SP's comforting atmosphere, now coming to think about it. but fun aside, TP will give me more exposure and much more relevant information as compared to SP. okay, i'll just have to step out from that bubble of comfortness. actually its just the friends that im making in TP. afterall, they're not VERY NICE people, this i realise only quite recently. one's like a dog to the other, in my opinion. maybe to her, its her language of friendship - loyalty. what seems like boot licking to me. (and actually, they're just this 2 particular persons in class.)

ahhhh... i really dont know what to say. friends are the not exactly the easiest of things to find. everyone needs friends. i'm glad i have a bunch of trust worthy friends i can count on, outside school.

i'll just continue being friendly like i am, and i'll be a friend to everyone. i hope.

smile, world, smile. (:

2006-04-19T20:03:00.000+08:00

green wing;
BUTCH label.

okay hair topic again. figured out that, my hair's pretty alright and i should just continue 'acting cool' because after all my hair's the expression of all i am WITHIN. yah right! can already hear everyone going 'yah right' together with me too. but well, let's all break free from social norms. now guys want long hair, and girls just want short hair! and its true.

that's enough for introduction.

I LOVE CREATIVE COMMUNICATION! its so fun! fyi, it's this tutorial in sp i crashed today. its damn cool and interesting and fun! sensational. well for CC today, we discussed about the topic creativity. its really cool. and i so agree with the lect when she said, "usually when you do your situational writing, the first idea that comes to your mind, throw that away." its true. which explains why i usually take THAT long just to write a essay or a 'try to be' interesting essay. she's great. she's young and pregnant.

during the lunch break, i actually met lots of familiar faces (zhenyang, ambrose, caijun, jiawei, chac and colleague) in foodcourt 6. cool, maybe its in foodcourt 6 that everyone goes to. but the food's not exactly that nice cos i had 1-tonne noodle, and the 1-tonne was doughy.

i actually miss the people from dmc 05. still i'll never forget my short little journey in sp.

farewell,
SP with DMC 05

2006-04-18T10:28:00.000+08:00

ITS SHORT.....................!

SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE I WOKE UP IN SHOCK, BY THE STATE OF SHORTNESS UPON MY HEAD.

well let me tell you how short my hair is now, its partially shaved, and there's no hair to grab at all on the sides. that's just cos its super short. and the one long tail like thing at the back-side of my head. which is not supposed to look like a tail, but a gradual slope from the left to right.

my bro think its damn ugly, and ah lian. but its okay what, just that ah lians make it horrible, with pmk fashion and horrible sandals. they probably just have something more on their hair, PINK EXTENSIONS.

my mom was in shock when she saw me at the door. she basically disapproves of almost anything, but she'll get over it.

my dad likes it/ approves of it.

2006-04-13T09:11:00.000+08:00

would you be happier?

CHECK THIS OUT...

HERE!

suddenly a whole lot of dilemmas come rushing through, but still, as mentioned in my earlier post, i'll still go to TP given the chance.

"... thank God for the people in SP..." this leader i called up told me that, and i agree. its tue, isn't it. used to always think SP was filled with only hokkein speaking c.p people, until i met a whole different bunch. okay, without a doubt those h.s.c.p's still dominate, but probably in the school of engineering and somewhere else, but not anywhere near the School of Business (SB, like how SP calls it).

the people i met in SP and all the fun i had, made me think deeper as to whether or not to still transfer. to be very honest, SP is one of the most comfortable places you ever want to be, cos there's no pressure on almost anything. the guys in my class are very easy to get along, because there're like only 5 guys and 17 girls. okay maybe its just 4 girls (katrina look alike, lynette the swimmer, nicola emo girl and i) who talk more to 3 guys, and the other whole group of girls talk to that one guy. and the remaining guy, he constantly runs away from orientation.

while waiting for the DTRM 05 people to dismiss, had a pretty long conversation with this guy from my class. and apparently, his friend was also from DTRM 05 and he's waiting for him as well. he's actually one of those 3 guys, that i feel very comfortable talking to. he's just very easy-going, and he's like sean goh. just not as lame. and i found out, he's a christian and a very involved christian. he plays for church, cos his church needs just an accoustic player, and his church is a traditional organ playing kind of church. then, we started talking alot about church and stuff.

and then something he said made me go, "love makes the world go blind." cos he thinks its a good trade off, that despite scoring a sky soaring 19points for his r5, he got all the love he needed from his girlfriend.

i think most of all, what i'll really miss about sp is, laughing and talking alot of nonsense with ziwei and gang (esp the foolish wit) during the long train ride. yah and also, tricking ziwei's course mates (DTRM 05) that i'm their new course mate.

2006-04-10T20:34:00.000+08:00

DMC 05

(that's the name of my class in SP). i can't believe i'm actually accepting my fate that i'm officially in SP's Media and Communications, instead of TP's Communications and Media Management. still, i'll accept the offer to Tp no matter what, given the chance.

today's orientation in sp wasn't that bad after all. there was no chance we got to meet/mingle with people from the other schools - something worth rejoicing. today was all about ice breaking, and outdoor activities. unfortunately, we got the outdoor activities only after noon, when the sun is blazing hot. telematch was superbly fun, cos we cheated and our facilitators were the one's who encouraged it cos they wanted badly for us to win as well. it was hell fun.

our facilitators were great, cos they weren't pushy about anything, and they were fun people. love their energy, love their spirit.

there's this girl in my class, she reminds me to so much of Katrina. Her built, her big eyes, her skin tone, her actions, her dressing! and she's 10cm taller than me. i look like a dwarf beside her. she's great, very easy going, and we basically 'hung' out together for the entire orientation. and she's into death metal, but just imagine Katrina's face, and you'll probably know how she looks like already.

btw, what i can't stand about DMC, people get fake with you with their fake english slang. absolutely horrible, sounds just like a certain someone from school who faked her english and scored a D for O's. its a pity when people just try too hard.

okay people, i think we have to all go out soon again, cos i have grandma emo stories a plenty to share.

til next time...

2006-04-06T11:46:00.000+08:00

my mother makes me cry the most

if there are any reasons why i hate my mother, it'll be because she's MERCENARY well yes to a certain extent. she just makes me feel so much like shit, everything when money is concerned in the conversation. not like i don't understand how expensive poly education is. but don't she just understand that, its my future that's at stake right now. its not about the money okay. why won't she understand.

maybe a conversation i had with her will help you all understand better.

after calling tp...
me: mommy, im on the waiting list in tp. they'll only put me in if there are people who withdraw.

mother: THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST STAY IN SP. WHY TP SO COCK UP? WHAT ARE THEY DOING?!

me: im already on the waiting list. they say people will only probably withdraw from 17th-24th.

mother: THEN WHY DON'T YOU STAY IN SP. ITS ALOT OF MONEY YOU KNOW! BY THEN THERE'LL BE NO REFUND! DON'T WASTE MONEY LA!

me: but so what? wasting that amount just for that education is ... (and then i can't carry on with her nonsense)

mother: YOU WON'T HAVE GET ANY REFUND ALREADY YOU KNOW ANOT?! AND YOU ALREADY PAID THE FEES! ITS ONE THOUSAND OVER DOLLARS!

me: i know. but if you withdraw within...

mother: I DON'T KNOW LAH. YOU GO AND ASK YOUR FATHER!

then she hung up on me.

for that moment, she made those tears fall. well forget it, i've already got it planned. no matter what, i'll still accept my offer to tp given the chance, and i'll pay my father the full amount of money he paid to sp.

i hate it. im so not going to rely on her anymore, for my future education overseas. to think i thought those few thousands i got from my pay could be saved up entirely. now she just makes me not want to rely on them to pay for my notebook in tp, if its required. i really hate her sometimes. she makes me not want to take my pocket money from her at all. but i know i have to unless i take up a job to cover for my own expenses.

but anyway, we're not in some financial crisis or any sort at the moment.

2006-04-04T10:45:00.000+08:00

Would you like to have a McPenis?

Animal Penis on the menu at new Beijing restaurant
By Ca-mie De Souza, Channel NewsAsia

BEIJING: China is well known for its exotic cuisine, from skewered scorpions to dog meat and monkey brains. Now, you can even dine in a specialty penis restaurant in the capital Beijing.

Gao Jianwu enjoys entertaining his friends at the newly opened Guolizhuang Restaurant, located beside Beijing's West Lake.

From the outside it looks like any other upmarket Chinese restaurant, but inside, it boasts an unusual dining experience.

You get a hint from this sign at the entrance which says, "What's in the pot makes you strong."

A recreated courtyard with a plush décor, it is supposed to give customers a sumptuous, classy dining experience, even if the menu is of the exotic variety

Customers, mostly businessmen and government officials, pay an average of US$25 each to feast on animal penises.

Diners can chose from cows, horses, donkeys and deer, and, for US$400, the penis of a Canadian seal.

Said Yang Wen, manager, Guolizhuang Restaurant, "The cook cleans each penis for between one and two hours. This ensures that they are hygienic. We also pay attention to the nutritional value, how long to cook them, when to turn them over. It's all part of the recipe before we serve it."

The Chinese believe you are what you eat, so it's no surprise that most diners are men eager to boost their virility, although many laugh this off, saying they are just here for the novelty.

Said customer Gao Jianwu, "I don't consider this as a cure for ailments, more of a tonic. It's ultimately food and not medicine."

Nevertheless, waitress are trained to recite tales about the vigour of the animals to customers, who sometimes get a little cheeky.

“There are times when it gets awkward for us female staff," Zhu Yan, a waitress at Guolizhuang Restaurant, said.

To broaden its client base, the restaurant staff tell customers that their signature dishes are not just for men.

They claim the exotic dishes can smooth wrinkles and fight menopausal depression in women.

But even Traditional Chinese Medicine practitioners warn that one must be careful about eating animal penises.

Said Zhu Jinglong, head, Baijuntang Chinese Medicare Academy, “An excess will affect the kidneys, leading to the body over-heating, moodiness, anxiety and shortness of breath. It will affect the blood flow between the heart and the brain. In the long-run, blood vessels will oxidise and this can easily lead to a stroke." - CNA /ct

Source taken from: http://www.channelnewsasia.com/stories/eastasia/view/201342/1/.html

maybe they should try cooking THE ALMIGHTY elephant's penis - big, long and strong. sure makes a man.

2006-03-29T13:00:00.000+08:00

fuck. i just screwed myself up.

"If you wish to accept the offer of admission, you must attend the enrolment. Please keep the appointment given to you in the letter offering you admission to the Singapore Polytechnic, otherwise the offer will be deemed to have lapsed and the vacancy will be offered to other applicants. "

-SP Admissions Site

fuck, tell me how fucking screwed i am.

I didn't do the pre-registration at sp, didn't turn up to sp for my appointed registration.

And now, my application to TP is still pending. Not a single confirmation YET. should have done the jpsae, which is so much faster and less troublesome. at least not til this state.

FUCK IT.

imagine if i never called sp, and i got rejected by tp both at the same time. i'll be a fucking 15 point average, with no school to go.

and fuck, im only going to earn $1280 this month cos friday i have to go down to sp for my enrolment. $280 is not even enough to pay for the MIKEAL corner workstation from ikea.

and then orientation at sp - 10th march. i'll only be left with 10 days to do my necessary stuff to prepare for school. and if tp accepts me, definitely about another 10 days to adjust myself for school.

2006-03-21T17:23:00.000+08:00

yet another

i'm low in fat!

tell me if its all by chance. i happened to flip last week's issue of MindYourBody in the office, and then as i was reading an article about oesteoporosis, it says "anorexia nervosa" leads to premature menopause. as you all know, during the on set of menopause, woman lose up to 5-6% of bone mass in a year.

anorexia nervosa. to double confirm that the 'anorexia nervosa' condition the papers were referring to was the right anorexia that struck my head, i decided to confirm it with the online cambridge dictionary. but as i was trying to access it, "WEB PAGE ERROR". so then i googled it.

indeed anorexia nervosa, was the exact same anorexia thingy i had in mind.

as defined by anred.com...
anorexia nervosa (eating disorder) - the relentless persuit of thinness.

bullima nervosa (eating disorder also) - the diet-binge-purge disorder

this is what happens when someone is bullimic.

1. person diets, becomes hungry, and then binge eats in response to power cravings and feelings of deprivation

2. feels out of control while eating

3. Fears gaining weight and frantically tries to "undo" the binge. Vomits, misuses laxatives, exercises, or fasts to get rid of the calories

4. Swears to "be good," to never binge eat again, but then continues to restrict food intake which starts yet another repeat of the deprivation-hunger-binge-purge cycle.

5. Believes self-worth requires being thin. (It does not.)

6. May shoplift, be promiscuous, and abuse alcohol, drugs and credit cards. May engage in risk-taking behavior and have other problems with impulse control. Person acts with little thought of consequences.

7. Weight may be normal or near normal unless anorexia is also present.

comes naturally or living them out?

to educate yourself more on the issue, kindly click ME!

2006-03-21T11:37:00.000+08:00

72 full hours

Anyway, here's an interesting article i found regarding Jesus's crucifixion and resurrection.

Article: Three Days and Three Nights
source: http://www.wonderfulworldtomorrow.org/article.html

On one of the many occasions when Jesus was challenged by Scribes and Pharisees, He was asked to offer them proof of His Messiahship: they wanted him to show them a miraculous sign. Answering His critics, Jesus first chastised them, pointing out they were part of “an evil and adulterous generation” that required signs, and then He turned to them and said:

"no sign will be given to it (the present generation) except the sign of the prophet Jonah. For as Jonah was three days and three nights in the belly of the great fish, so too will be the Son of Man be three days and three nights in the heart of the earth." (Matthew 12: 39-40)

This was the sign Christ was willing to give the recalcitrant Pharisees: the sign involving His death, which they were seeking, and His resurrection - something they would later deny. It was the true sign He was the Messiah, their Savoir. The miraculous healings they had already witnessed could be reasoned away, but His resurrection from the dead after three days and three nights in the tomb, Never! This was ultimately the proof Christ would offer to those who doubted Him, and it was he evidence countless generations of Christians would point to as proof of His divinity.

Given the importance the miracle of His resurrection, Christ prophesied using a precise timetable showing when He would rise from the dead. Strange as it may seem, however, modern Christianity commemorates this event on a day when it would not have happened, Easter Sunday. In their ignorance, Christains deny the very sign He gave them as evidence that He is their Messiah. They do not understand Christ could not have been resurrected on their popular holiday.

How long was Christ in the tomb?

No human witnessed Christ's resurrection. The only record we have of it is the one contained in the Bible. Thus the answer to when Christ was resurrected must come from inspired scripture otherwise we are simply speculating. A close look at Jonah's confinement in the belly of the great fish should give us the answer.

Most would agree that the three days and three nights Jonah spent in the fish's belly constitute a period of seventy-two hours. The day time period is generally understood to mean a twelve-hour period of light, as confirmed by Christ in John 11:9-10 :

John 11:9-10: 9 Jesus answered, "Are there not twelve hours in the day? If anyone walks in the day, he does not stumble, because he sees the light of this world. 10 But if one walks in the night, he stumbles, because the light is not in him." NKJV

If we accept that Christ was working from the principle of a day being twelve hours, and a night being twelve hours, then three days and three nights constitue a seventy-two hour period.

If one needs to find further evidence for this point the account of Genesis 1: 4-13 provides it. Here we see again, that God divided the day into two halves:

"[God] divided the light from darkness. And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening [darkness] and the morning [light] were the first day ....And the evening [darkness] and the morning [light] were the second day .... And the evening [now three periods of darkness called night-- three nights] and the morning [now three periods of light called day -- three days] were the third day" (Gen. 1:4-13)

From the text above one can see that three full days are equal to three night (darkness) periods and three (light) periods, constituting a full seventy-two hours.

It may seem a bit trivial to spend so much time defining a day and a night; nevertheless, proponents of an Easter resurrection have based the accuracy of the timeline on numerous and 'innovative' ways of counting. The truth is that the three days and three nights Christ gave as evidence of his Messiahship are exactly what any rational person would believe them to be, a period of seventy-two hours.

Good Friday to Easter Sunday

Since Christ was to be in the grave for seventy-two hours, it becomes immediately apparent that the Good Friday to Easter Sunday timeline celebrated by most Christians today is flawed. If Christ was killed on the afternoon of "Good Friday" as most Christians believe, there is no way He could have risen on the morning of Easter Sunday. It is impossible to squeeze seventy-two hours into that scenario when we consider what the scripture has to say on the subject:

"And he began to teach them, that the Son of man must suffer many things, and be rejected of the elders, and of the chief priests, and scribes, and be killed, and AFTER three days rise again.” (Mark 8:16)

Any way you count it, Sunday morning can not be three full days from Friday afternoon, unless you want to redefine a day and night as parts of "three days and nights", which does not square at all with Christ's clear teaching. However, this is the explanation and justification for celebrating Christ's resurrection on Easter Sunday morning given by most theologians today.

When was Christ Crucified?

In order to get this whole matter straightened out, it is perhaps best to begin first by determining when Christ was crucified. The Scripture tells us that the crucifxion took place on the day referred to as "the preparation day". According to Jewish practice this was the day preceding a "Sabbath" (Matt. 27:62; Mark 15:42; Luke 23:54). As we already know, a day is counted from evening to evening (Lev. 23:32, Genesis 1:19), not from midnight to midnight as is common today.

The Bible further records that Jesus cried out from the stake soon after "the ninth hour". This would be three o'clock in the afternoon by modern reference. Christ was crucified on the "preparation day" before the ensuing High Sabbath that began the festival of the Unleavened Bread (Matt. 27:46-50; Mark 15:34-37; Luke 23:44-46), which immediately followed the day of the Passover. By Jewish tradition, all criminals had to be taken down from the stake before the festival began, before the sun set signalling the High Day had begun (Matt. 27:57; Luke 23:52-54; John 19:42).

We read in the book of John: "There laid they Jesus, therefore, because of the Jews' preparation day for the sepulcher was nigh at hand". According to the laws observed by the Jews, all dead bodies have to buried before the beginning of a Sabbath or festival High Day. Hence Jesus was buried before sunset on the same day He died. It is clear that Christ's body was buried in the late afternoon sometime between 3pm and sunset on the preparation day preceding the feast of Unleavened Bread, as these scriptures clearly indicate.

Many who know little of "Judaism" are confused by reference to a "preparation day", believing it refers only to Friday when Jews traditionally prepare for the weekly Sabbath observance. Lacking knowledge of the Passover-Feast of Unleavened Bread, they do not make distinction between the "preparation day" of the weekly Sabbath and the preparation day, which precedes a Holy Day or High Sabbath. It is important to understand the Bible makes reference to two types of Sabbaths. The first is a weekly Sabbath, and the second is a Holy Day Sabbath or "High Sabbath" which occurs annually and can fall on any day of the week in connection with the Festivals outlined in Leviticus 23 (See Leviticus 16:31; 23:24, 26-32,39).

The book of John gives us a clear reference to what kind of Sabbath followed the day of Christ's crucifixion, "Now it was the Preparation day of the Passover (The whole period from Passover through the Festival of Unleavened Bread was referred to as the Passover, but the High Days occur at the beginning and the end of the Feast of Unleavened Bread)…” (John 19:14 NKJ). It was the preparation day before a High Day, not the weekly Sabbath. Thus the crucifixion did not necessarily take place on Friday.

Putting the Story together

What we do know is that Christ was crucified in the late afternoon and buried before the evening began. We also know that Christ had to be in the tomb for seventy-two hours, which is to say, three days and three nights; and thus He must have resurrected immediately at the end of the seventy-two hours, which would have been at the time of day we would call the late afternoon, before sunset. Finally we know that the day He died was the day of preparation for the annual "High Day" which could have fallen on any day of the week. If we carefully use these facts, we can clearly understand when Christ was crucified.

The first people to visit Christ's tomb and report He was recurrected were some of the women disciples including Mary Magdalene who showed up early on the FIRST day of the week, which according to the Jewish calendar would be Sunday (John 20:1). When Mary and the other women arrived, they saw a tomb that had already been opened (Mark 16:2-4). Many Christians read into this account the false premise that this meant Christ was recurrected Sunday morning, but in fact that is impossible. For Christ to have been resurrected on Sunday, he would have had to rise in the late afternoon in order to complete the seventy-two hour life cycle (Remember, since he was buried just before sunset, he would have to rise at the same time seventy-two hours later). John 20:1 only tells us that by Sunday morning he had already risen:

"Now the first day of the week Mary Magdalene went to the tomb early, while it was still dark, and saw that the stone had been taken away from the tomb.” (John 20:1 NKJV)

What Mary Magdalene and the others found was a tomb that was already empty. Since we know Christ had to be resurrected before sunset (72 hours after he was buried), it is clear that at the end of the seventy-two hours period came before Sunday even began, before the sun set on the preceding Sabbath day. This means He rose late Saturday, which fulfilled perfectly the sign he gave the recalcitrant Pharisees: the sign of Jonah's literal three days and three nights in the belly of the fish!

What day of the week did the Crucifixion fall on?

In order to discover the actual day of the week Christ was crucified on, we must count back seventy-two hours from just before the sunset ending the Saturday Sabbath observance. Counting backward we come to Wednesday, just before sunset! This means that Christ died on a Wednesday afternoon, the preparation day for that year's High Sabbath that began the Feast of Unleavened Bread. He was placed in the tomb just before sun set.

There are numerous other biblical scriptures, even prophetic points, that support this time-line. However, many will wonder why it matters at all. The short answer to this is that the true timeline of Christ’s death shows that the celebration of Good Friday and Easter Sunday do not have any basis in historical fact, and are in no way connected to Christ’s true sacrifice. Moreover, understanding the truth regarding Christ’s resurrection reassures us that His proof of His being the Messiah was true. Christ does not require us to understand complex mathematical formulas or reason around the obvious in order for us to prove who He was. In fact, all we have to do is read the four separate accounts that tell us when and how the crucifixion happened (Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John), count three days and three nights, and then we see the resurrection occurred when and how Christ told us it would.

so there you have. Jesus' crucifixion took place on Wednesday afternoon, and he rose on Saturday afternoon.

2006-03-20T10:46:00.000+08:00

Here's your passport to Little Ireland

First of all, check this out (look below) :

isn't it cool. crystal and i went on a little tour in acid bar after service last saturday, cos it was free and you get to sample some drinks too. there were 7 stops to the whole tour, and it was only at the 2nd and last station that you got to try those drinks. at the end of the tour, they give you a guiness shirt.

the beer we got to try at station 2 was really smooth cos they left it on some machine that would evaporate some stuff (i don't know what) within the beer, thus leaving it smooth and creamy. very enjoyable. according to the lady, its best tasted when accompanied with some dark chocolate.

and then off to the last station which actually was my favourite. you get to try 2 small cups of guiness. the first one with added blackcurrent, and the other, the original guiness stout. love the blackcurrent one. very addictive. the original guiness stout wasn't that bad at all but tastes really ah-jekish. not my type. its got the punch though.

here's probably what everyone doesn't know, okay maybe only me. GUINESS is an irish beer. maybe its just the kopitiam retirees, who make guiness seem so undesirable. those rowdy ol' man who sit around with their singlets and brown camel shorts, wasting their prime years away gulping guiness down their river throats, feeling orgasmic when the ghim moh beer lady with the super mini skirt and thighs looking like roadmarkers on a map (vericose veins) and lots of cellulite, comes to serve him his guiness. its all about the image. when you think guiness, you actually think "ABC hei(1) pi(2) jiu(3)".

the tour has definitely been an eye opener. i'll probably be choosing guiness over any other beer next time, cos its extremely easy on the throat unlike the others i've tasted before.

2006-03-14T13:03:00.000+08:00

return to me salvation

the interview's over. god help me, it is anything but promising. at least that's how i feel. but anyway, i'll still update parts of the interview i remembered.

felicia nah: so currently are you a student anywhere else?
me: i've been posted to sp's media and communications.

nah: oh so why didn't you put tp as your first choice?
me: i couldn't cos i wasn't eligible for it. i was forced to put sp as my first choice, and i got in.

(then she went on asking me why i didn't apply through jpsae and of course i told her why i didn't know i could and you know the whole jpsae saga)

nah: so what makes you want tp more than sp?
me: tp's cmm is more diverse and it holds equal emphasis on both media and business. whereas sp's media and communication has a greater emphasis on business than media, which isn't what i'm looking for.

nah: oh okay. so what job scope do you see yourself in upon graduation.
me: i know tp's has sociology and media marketing as their electives. however im hoping that after the first year module, i'll find a field that i like doing in the next few years. because tp's cmm covers both media marketing and business, so if one day i realise i don't really like the media industry, there's still business and marketing that i can fall back on. however, i'm rather keen on audio production, becasue i like how it sets the mood and atmosphere in films, and how it impacts the audience even without them realising it.

nah: so have you tried any audio editing software?
me: erm, no, not at the moment.
nah: well you should. there're lots in the market you can play around with, but of course the better ones will give you wider features.

nah: but anyway you know what the course we offer includes tv production, broadcasting and journalism as well. so its a full package thing, not like just audio production alone.
me: yes, they all interest me but i like audio production the most.

nah: so anyway how old are you this year?
me: im 17.
nah: wait a minute, you're not over-aged right?
me: no, im 17 this year.
nah: (check the documents) yes you're 17. you seem mature for your age, as compared to those i've interviewed who are 17 as well.
me: i've had people telling me i look like a nus student.
nah: yes in fact you do. maybe its the way you speak, and the sound of your voice. its quite deep.
me: (laugh a little) yes i get what you mean.

nah: but if you're given the oppurtunity for the course, you gotta step up to it and grab it. don't just let it slip by.
me: yes, like you always come forward and even be aggressive.
nah: yes you have to be aggressive. you always have to be there in action, and not standing there at the back of the wall, hoping not be be seen.
me: yes.

nah: well thank you coming down for the interview, and hopefully i'll see you in tp. the results will be out together with the appeal, so where you go will depend on the appeal results.
me: okay, thank you for the interview.

GIVE IT TO ME, AND TELL ME IM IN.

2006-03-13T14:12:00.000+08:00

The Show that Shagged Me

these are the functions i'm looking for in a mp3 player (my dream mp3):
1. flash memory
2. 4gb memory
3. radio
4. thin and light
5. great audio quality unlike a certain fruit brand

and with that here's what i got from the it show...

a Samsung YP-Z5 black 4gb.

Samsung YP-Z5:
1. flash memory
2. 4gb
3. thin and light
4. DNSE
(unfortunately, it comes without radio and voice recording. BUT, the sleek design and rather tricky touch pad makes up for it.)

price: definitely cheaper than the fruit brand
freebies: SENNHEISER PMX100, some external speaker that i didn't like and gave it to my colleague, car charging kit, screen cleaning kit, extra SENNHEISER PMX40 (cos my customer gave it to me)

well most of the freebies are pretty miserable, but the SENNHEISER PMX100 is the ultimate. so move aside, you fruit brand.

2006-03-04T23:58:00.000+08:00

they say change is the only constant in the world

after spending almost my entire time online today poking my nose into peoples lives (their blogs), i came to find out that change other than God and his word, it is indeed the only constant in the world. what an oxymoron, isn't it. now i'm finally learning to use the word 'oxymoron' aptly, those times in school when i remembered ms choinh saying 'time management is an oxymoron'.

changes - those were what i noticed from those blogs i read. change of charatcer, attitude and of course the aspect of maturity never gets left out. i shall be brutally honest. im perceptive and judgemental by nature, and with those character traits of mine, i obviously perceive and judge quite a fair bit. and then i thgt to myself again, "why do you even bother so much?" the answer, "stop judging and perceiving. accept the fact that people CHANGE. so deal with it."

that surely slapped me in the face. but afterall i guess, i'll just learn to accept that CHANGE indeed is constant.

2006-02-26T00:03:00.000+08:00

they'd teach you to doubt first

great lord, i shall do some little update to this quickly turning miserable blog.

so yes, im finally in church again after a very long while that's cos crystal's back. service without her is quite a torture i must admit, and i wonder how i really did survive those times in church and cg when she hadn't joined us yet. oh yes, i guess its a change of heart i've had towards church and godly issues and alot more of wordly perpsectives. still, i'm pretty comforted that during those few years when i was more committed i did learn alot more about the word and about HIM and a little about the end times period if i didn't remember them wrongly of course.

right today's altar call, was pretty much about the shift of focus in our relationship with God and how we've been treating it like a 'side dish' more than allowing God to be the centre of our everything. that is exactly what i think i really am struggling with quite abit, since i seem to really have fallen away from that definition of 'holiness' which involves not reading the bible, not praying but only in church, and not even attending services regularly (needless to say caregroups), and i don't even remember the last time i did tithe. everyone all over the world, please do stone me, for being such a big fat sinner. now to really evaluate what i've been doing by not going to church and reading the bible and praying, it just shows how i've grown more prideful for not acknowledging God as the centre of my life, and how i've found a new master to the throne of my heart - money (which is what i've been busy making on those saturday's when i missed service while crystal was away in hk). and yes money, did take the throne of my heart, cos i chose to spend those 8-9 hours working doing my sales, instead of just 2hours in church.

its all in the past now, and i think im getting quite bored of making money already. not that i don't welcome extra cash flow into my bank account or what, but it slowly turns someone into a "wage slave" quoting terkey on this. its just very true somehow, and what im pretty ashamed to admit. for now, i guess after my assignment at the comex show, maybe i'll take a long long break.

IN THE MEANTIME, yes back to today's church service, it has convicted more about something - being a musician for God. how cliche it sounds, but yes that's what i really want to do and be. here let me weigh the difference of a common musician with God's musician...

1. God's musician knows who they're playing for and to. audience: people waiting to be ministered by God, and worship is one of the tools that would be used to do so. result acheived: change of hearts, life transforms.

2. Common musician plays for a common audience who are plainly mesmerised by the musician's charima, as he plays. plays solely for music, which makes music the idol of his life. result acheived: audience leave the show feeling satisfied with what they watched, but never life transforming.

so then after service, i sent a msg to a leader telling her that i'd wish to join the musician's team in church cos i can't think of any other way how i can really contribute to the kingdom of God, and no that's not an excuse just to play the guitar on stage in church. however, ridiculous and bogus this may get to you, but that's really what i think i can best do. and i really do wanna be part of a massive worship band that travels the world to minister to the hearts of all people. and a part of the ticket sales would go to the building of schools in third world countries, and another part to MAKING POVERTY HISTORY, and then who knows what else is to be done with that profit. -rubs hands in glee- instrument upgrade!

there you have, a long entry of all my big dreams.

2006-02-18T10:55:00.000+08:00

some world news

Cash and a Car

Mohammed Yousaf Qureshi, prayer leader at the historic Mohabat Khan mosque in the conservative northwestern city of Peshawar, announced the mosque and the Jamia Ashrafia religious school he leads would give a $25,000 reward and a car for killing the cartoonist who drew the prophet caricatures — considered blasphemous by Muslims.

He also said a local jeweler's association would give $1 million, but no representative of the association was available to confirm the offer.

"Whoever has done this despicable and shameful act, he has challenged the honour of Muslims. Whoever will kill this cursed man, he will get $1 million from the association of the jewlers bazaar, 1 million rupees (US $16,7000) from Masjid Mohabat Khan and 500,000 rupees (US$8,350) and a car from Jamia Ashrafia as a reward, " Qureshi told about 1,000 people outside the mosque after Friday prayers.

"This is a unanimous decision by all imams (prayer leaders) of Islam that whoever insults the prophet deserves to be killed and whoever will take this insulting man to his end, will get the prize."

Cartoonists go Underground

The cartoonists have gone underground and lived under police protection since the conflict started escalating last year.

European Justice Commissioner Franco Frattini said the European Union could not apologize for the offence caused.

"No, it's not Europe's duty, not I think it is the duty of Danish Priminister Rasmussen. We don't have the power to apologize in the name of the press. That would be violating the basis of the freedom of the press. If they feel is right, it is up to the editors and authors of the cartoons to apologize to those who feel offended, " Frattini said.

Sources ramdomly taken from: MSBC world news

now its my turn to give my 2 cents worth upon the matter.

initially i thought the muslims were merely just over reacting to a simple cartoon itself. and what's more quoting The Abrams Report, cartoons are 'ludicrous' and 'unrealistic'. in my point of view even, cartoons are way of communication to man's creativity. but then again, that overwhelming response from the muslims made me come to 2 big conclusions: that is they're firm believers of their faith in a extreme manner (extremists), or they're just joining in the protest to create a certain uproar because they have nothing better to do.

now that they are being rewarded for killing the cartoonists with that huge sum of money, probably enough to lift their entire generation out of poverty and into the lives of high fat, high carbo diets for next few years. so tell me who wouldn't resist that? i really think something is going damn wrong inside their heads. every religion preaches that to sin is evil. i'd be laughing my ass of if that Youreshi guy suddenly says that somewhere in the koran, in the eleventh commandment, its states clearly that to murder someone who insults your God is honourable in the eyes God, and its gives you eternal life. esp when those words were coming out of a PRAYER LEADER. i see it more as a satanic act, than something that's honourable and praise-worth.

please, your religion teaches you to love your neighbour as your brother, and to love your enemy, for loving your enemy is greater than loving your neighbour. so why can't they just be a little more loving and practise what it is within the 10 commandments. isnt that what is expected of a prayer leader as well? he's supposed to be their leader - a figure of authority and maturity (spiritually speaking).

to err is human, to love divine?