sailed away into a grey sky morning...

here's a little review of my eoy results:
eng: 33/50
chinese: 57/100 (but still failed overall)
maths overall: 59/100
paper 1: 61/80
paper 2: 42/100
a.maths: 19/80
science overall: 51/100
sc chem: 24/50
sc phy: 27/50
combined humans: 54/100
ss: 23/50
elect. hist: 31/50
lit: 37/100
paper 1: 20/50
paper 2: 17/50

so yea, failed amaths and lit only this time counting only the papers. but with chinese as an overall: fail. i hope i did improved. though im still a little worried about the overall with the combined CA and SA. don't know what to expect of my l1r5. please don't let it be above 40!

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im so totally lost as to whether or not take up chinese B. F.Y.I, i was one of the few in my class short-listed for chinese B. after what lee lao shi said, it did made sense. cos if i were to take up chinese B, then maybe i can totally focus my time into my a.maths. and try working hard on other subjects. but then again, it is just so risky for me to risk that one subject away considering the fact that we are taking only 7 subs. and if i really do take chinese B, then i would really have to work hard and score well for those other 6 subs.

but if i do not take chinese B, then still at least if i were to get a 9 for any other subs with maybe my chinese getting a 7, wouldn't that be better. its a 2 point difference man! but then, i just don't seem to see myself maybe getting that 7 or 8. that 9 has already become my relative. im not wallowing in my own self-pity, but really it just is a reality check. so yea...

also, i'm like so extremely weak in all my other subs. fancy passing your subs by just 1 mark, you just become so uncertain of the academic progress that is expected of you. and also if i were to take chinese B, then my parents wouldn't have to waste money on my soon to come chinese tuition. and they can just get me an amaths tutor. and like what lee lao shi said, amaths is a very dead subject. everything is fixed and if you know your formulas well, and you are able to execute the question, then you should be able to pass it. whereas, chinese is a language and its so impossible to master the language just in a short half year. or even 5 months. it just make sense..., and i really do not know whether or not to take the risk.

but i felt like i should take chinese B, and focus my attention on the other subs. and discipline myself to pratise my a.maths everyday. and jonathon said, he could help me with my science. if that really was it, then i think it would be worth it taking chinese B. but so many people's encouraging me not to take up chinese B. so totally caught in a dilemma.

somebody drop me a lifeline, and take me where i should be...