self-righteousness

first of all... i'm thankful how God has brought *someone* back into his kingdom.

to someone:
somehow i didn't dare to ask you that question, "are you ready to receive Jesus?" cos i really just wanted you all to come to my church simply just to enjoy the programmes. so i guess in times like this, its worth the shot. you cried, and it made me feel like crying okay. and i guess im touched as much as how you are by God. but learn to take things at a time. eventually, things will start working its way out.

i've never felt that hurt and lost before
what's up, i don't know
could it be me? who could it be then?
what could have be it?

SUNKEN GROUND; EDITED

Sunken Ground - Where's Jamie

Have you ever felt helpless
Frustrated, all at the same time?
The pressure's on, and the heat's turned up
You know yourself, more than anyone else
Vindictive verbalisations;
Never revealing what's true
A lost friend in the wilderness
Sinking, Waiting...
No one came

Short-lived dreams, short-lived hopes
Living past what's worth
Screwing up, with her tongue
For the drag was where she lies now

Scarring the wounds ever again,
in an never-ending terrain
She prayed that night with much faith
A price to pay for all she's done
Everything isn't worth what it costs

great! we've got an original already! and i mean a real original!

sihong text me after i played for them sunken ground with, "Hey i'm so proud of you! I/we shall buy you a distortion pedal for christmas/ your birthday." its so funny. it sounded so churchy at first. and i gave my phone a very WIDE SMILE. like this --> :D

its so hard letting go
have the stakes been raised that high?
i really hope you didn't mean anything
or have I?

what's up with you?

im bored and tired off my ass.

today's somebody's birthday. sembody who sings horribly, has flat boney breasts, and always unhooking her bra whenever she wears that bra. shall not wish her a hapy birthday for the 2nd time, cos she looked up beloved JOLIE'S dress.

okay, to WJ again...

weijun (audrey's friend) asked if we're interested in co-organising or participating in a gig to be held soon by his band if im not wrong. and we'll need to pay a certain amt of money for transport of insrtuments and stuff. and pls reply to this on my tag asap, cos he needs to know whether we're interested so he can count us in. and also, for that we have to tell him the genre of our music as well. replies on tag asap, thank you.

why do people smoke? does it give you the inspiration to write songs or to draw better? that's just so sad, when people think that way. or when they deceive themselves into thinking that way. maybe i'm still too young to understand. maybe i'll never know til i try. i guess for now, i won't wanna try it.

been in touch with kris (freaky chris) lately, and im not freaking out that much already. maybe cos we haven't been seeing him around for a very very long time. and that's really cool. sometimes i wonder whether i'm being overly sensitive or what, but i used to think he's mental and psycho. like he watches us jam, cos he wants to prey on us. but well, perhaps he isn't that bad after all. he's just passionate about music, and it encourages him when he sees a band of 5 girls jamming together making music?

well, hopefully. but the question he asks sometimes make me feel alittle uncomfortable. like, "how's your day?" erm... and he's like 30+ i think.

REEL BITES

TIMESONLINE

March 12, 2005

Last Supper advert is in the final straw
From Adam Sage in Paris
A ban on the parody of the Leonardo painting has been denounced as censorship

Supermodels have fallen foul of France's blasphemy laws with an advertising campaign that parodies Leonardo Da Vinci's painting, The Last Supper.

A judge ordered the advertising posters to be removed yesterday from billboards acorss France within 3 days or to risk a daily fine of E100,000.

The ruling by the Paris court stunned the Parisian media and fashion establishment, which denounced it as an act of censorship contrary to France's liberal traditions.

The advertising campaign for the Girbaud fashion house shows designer-clad women in the pose of the apostles and a half-naked man as Jesus Christ. Girbaud said it would appeal against the ruling.

The campaign, which was also banned by magistrates in Milan in February, was described as offensive to Catholics by the presiding judge, Jean-Claude Magendie.

He upheld the case brought by Beliefs and Liberties, an association set up by French bishops, who were particularly upset that the advertisemt shows a shirtless man to the right of the models representing Jesus in the arms of one of the female 'apostles'.

This appears to be an oblique reference to claims that effeminate-looking apostle seated Jesus' right in Da Vinci work was his follower, Mary Magdalene, and not John, as it is usally stated.

These claims were renewed by the American author Dan Brown, who suggested in his bestselling book, The Da Vinci Code, that the Church had conspired to hide Jesus' marriage to Mary Magdalene.

Thierry Massis, the bishops' lawyer, said: "When you attack sacred things, you create a moral violence that is dangerous for our children. Tomorrow we'll have Christ selling socks." But Bernard Cohen, acting for Girbaud, said: "The work is a photograph based on a painting, not the bible. There is nothing in it that is offensive to the Catholic religion. It is a way of showing the place of women in society today."

The Girbaud advertisement is the latest in a long line of controversial reworkings of Leonardo's painting, from Bunuel's film Virridiana to more recent satires by the television shows Spitting Image and Shameless on Channel 4, to the late comedian Malcolm Hardee.

Liberation, the left-wing newspaper that is a pillar of liberal classes that dominate such of Parisian society, expressed indignation.

It said that French bishops were increasingly active against what they saw as offensive advertisements.

In recent year Bishops have taken legal action over a poster for the film, Amen, which showed a Christian cross that merged into Nazi swastikas, and over an advertising campaign for Volkswagen, which showed Jesus saying: "Rejoice, for a new Golf is born." Both cases were settled out of court.


What is wrong with those lame old French bishops? its just an advert, and seriously i think its a good peice of work. i saw it somewhere in the magazine the other time. and it was really nice. it was creative, bold and daring. seriously, they shouldn't have taken it that personally. its all for humour and entertainment.

those old fogeys. im trying to get my hand on that ad, cos its really nice. its a little like that adidas ad. almost similar just that there's a table with the models all half-squatting. it was really nice. if i were the artist i would have fought for the rights for my art peice.

anyone who saw the ad would have laughed it off. it was funny, how the artist could have brought in also those ludicrus (however you spell it) facts that Dan Brown came up with. if the ad was offensive, WHY DON'T THOSE OLD FOGEYS SUE DAN BROWN INSTEAD AND HAVE HIS BOOKS STRIPPED OFF THE SHELVES AND COUNTERS OF BOOKSTORES.

everyone has different interpretation of different things. and Dan Brown probably came up with weird stuff about Da Vinci's painting only to complicate matters.

The truth is that simple - beyond how the human mind could comprehend.

ripped off pillsbury-doughgirl.

01. name: bella c. koh (if you know what the C is)
02. hobbies: jamming with WJ or spending the whole day alone at home playing and learning more guitar stuff, walking alone?
03. gender: I AM A FEMALE.
04. age: 16
05. date of birth: 240189
06. horoscope: aquarius
07. school: a flame school that believes in aflame truth
08. address: i live in peaceful and quiet yishun, home of the aedes.
09. email add: access_denied_404@hotmail.com
10. eye colour: it should be a darker shade of brown compared to my hair. not that its that brown or what, but its a very dark color! WE'RE ASIANS!
11. hair: short, always looks uncombed. looks unhealthy.
12. hair colour: dark brown. a sickly tone.
13. right or left handed: right.
14. marital status: single and forever horny and lustful.
15. siblings: a younger bro who used to be very irritating. but he's all mature and funny now!
16. last 4 digits of ur no.: 1460 (if it opens in the weekly lottery, you owe me one)
17. when's ur bedtime: I TRY TO SLEEP BY 10 DURING WEEKDAYS, COS I NEED ALOT OF REST AND SLEEP TO CONCENTRATE IN CLASS THE NEXT DAY. weekends, are play time. but i sleep alot too.
18. do u have a car: yep. left car, and right car. if you get what it means here.
19. what type of car do you want: any jeep or landrover. or perhaps a small lil cute car like a hyudai getz?

----------------------have you
21. tried smoking: no. but im always curious about it. but i wouldn't dare try.
22. drink alc0h0l: yep. they say girls hate beer, but once you drink it and you like it, YOU LIKE IT.
23. been hurt emotionally: IM A GIRL REMEMBER?
24. Keep a secret from anyone?: of course, if the whole world knew all my tiny secrets, they'd all be crying in misery.
25. been on stage?: yeap.

----------------------favourites
26. colour: i like dark loud colors.
27. food: anything except rice. and no spicy food too.
28. drinks: preferably coke.
29. number(s): 11?
30. disney: no disney. but i like nick cartoons.
31. sports: not a very sporty person. i don't like running!
32. song : anything that isn't mushy.
33. movie: any with favourite ANGELINA JOLIE in it. but GIRL, INTERRUPTED is the bestest of all films
34. subject: lit, but i dislike the teacher now.
35. friend: anyone who cares to understand

----------------------right now
36. wearing now: im braless.
37. hairstyle: messy. i don't comb my hair after batheing at home.
38. looking at: the dumb screen with words flooding
39. thinking of: our recording. cos im waiting for dear a.j to find her cable and upload it. maybe, BITSY ate it, or chewed it to BITS.
40. listening to: PLANETSHAKERS!!!!!

----------------------do u believe in
41. love?: course, LOOK AT THE CROSS.
42. faith: no faith = no love?
43. urself: you have to, and everyone has to.
44. ghost: a little, cos im always scarring my myself after any horror flick.
45. angels : im not sure about them, but maybe there really are, since God sent an angel (i think his name was Gabriel) to mary.

----------in the last 24hrs
46. worn jeans: my bilabong burms?
47. cleaned ur rooms: no.
48. cried: no.
49. met someone new: from planetshakers concert,
50. last person i talked to on the phone: it was rachel goh. to get planetshakers tix from her for my dearly beloved bro. in the end he called her. AND WE'RE ALL FRM THE SAME PRIMARY SCHOOL!

----------------------love life
51. do u have a gf/bf now: no.
52. have a secret admirer: like you said its a SECRET admirer. so im not supposed to know.
53. do u wanna get married?: think so.
54. do u plan on having kids?: maybe.
55. how old u wanna be when u get married?: just before 30.
56. how old u wanna be when u haf ur first child: i don't know. if God permits, before 30!
57. how many kids do u want: i don't know. unless i love the feeling of child-birth. which is horrible i guess?
58. would u have kids before marriage: don't think so.
59. do u have a crush: anyone who is flat right now.

---------------------- either one
60. pink or black: black
61. kiss or hug: hugs are friends, kisses are for guys.
62. summer or winter: spring.
63. sunny or rainy: windy.
64. chocolate or vanilla: chocolate.
65. hanging out or chilling: both. you usually hang out, and then you chill.
66. music or tv: BOTH.
67. night or day: night.
68. guys or girls: both. but im not bisexual.
69. Sleeping or eating: sleeping. i sleep alot.
70. love or lust: lust for lust, love for love.
71. silver or gold: silver
72. sunset or sunrise: none.
73. phone or in person: both is alright.
74. diamond or pearl: diamonds. they sparkle.

-------------The person u know who is...
75. the most u love: i don't know anyone i love that much. but i ought to love God more than anyone else?
76. most understanding : jiayi, crystal, terkey, sihong, WJ (cos they're all very easy going pple)
77. cheerful: church people. they're always very cheerful.

a congregation;
many worshippers

back from the planetshakers concert, and it was just awesome. the songs were mostly from their new unreleased album. and its very very nice. there's even one with rap. wow! but singaporeans just aren't fun. they never know when to do the right thing at the right time, and it spoils the fun. during praise, not everyone jumps and its already like a major disappointment. but still, the worship itself is fulfiling.

it felt totally euphoric. perhaps that would be the only word described how it was. the speaker, Russel Evans, he's prophetic? while everybody was worshipping and stuff, he came on stage and started saying, "i believe someone there has had his shoulder healed. is there someone with breathing difficulties. i believe he's healed. i believe anyone has his leg healed". its quite like WOW. it was just awesome. and i think his altercall was really cool, cos it wasn't forced and he really allowed time for the non-believers to really think through all that was preached and stuff. in the mean time, they played RAIN DOWN. it was really really good, like how in the mean time God's presence would rain down onto the non-believers hearts as it would onto his worshippers. it felt really genuine, with the emotions all cast aside.

it was a point that would turn every non-believer to Jesus Christ. and then after that we all broke into small groups to pray for all of the non-b's in singapore to come to know christ soon. crystal and i paired up and we prayed for phs as well. after that, we were all made to kneel down on our knees to worship God.

and yay, AMANDA HAS TIX FOR TMR'S PLANETSHAKERS! and IM NOT GOING TO MISS IT, NO MATTER WHAT!

we're only asking for an extend
they're all burnt away

this goes out to all WHERE'S JAMIE (don't read if your not one, unless your name's JAMIE? oh well, a peek only!):

I THINK WE REALLY KICKED ASS TODAY. SOLO'S NOT WELL CO-ORDINATED THOUGH. BUT IT WAS EXPRESSIVE AND THAT'S WHAT I LOVED. its definitely more than the notes and beats.

1. AMANDA SANG VERY WELL! practically "screaming her lungs out" but it was really really good.
2. TERKEY'S DRUMS WERE AWESOME. didn't know you could do such stuff given the regular constipated look and enlarged nostrils. WOW! FAT ARMS CAN CRASH AND PLAY FAST ROLLINGS! WOW! but really, it was COMMENDABLE. just for this once only. still, DO NOT BE COMPLACENT AND KEEP THOSE RRRRRROOOOLLLLINGS rolling. *but trust us when we say those long worth while rollings are good.
3. CLARISSA'S FORVER A FAST LEARNER. well, we gotta co-ordinate more together. but it was awesome how you could play that well also so quickly. but leave those solos longer. feel the notes man!
4. SIHONG FOR SLIDING HER FINGERS THROUGH THOSE HUGE BASSY FRETS. try to remember the tabs if you can.
5. MYSELF FOR KICKING ASS TOO. it was definitely worth staying up late.


hey, didn't i say a peek only! you read the whole thing!

well, i'll forgive you.

blk 23 depot lane?
#01-17?

that's the ulu place. its that ulu and scary. cos its ulu industrial area where the dry ice makers are, and some egg or chicken thing there. and there's lots of buddha/buddhist/tuapeigong/erlangsen figurines around. they looked really freaky. instead of protecting, they looked more like they were going to zap us with their swords and chants. oops, so sorry. but its that scary seeing such statues lying around.

terkey thinks it a schame (how do spell it, whatever) and for all you know she might be right. though in my utmost sincerity, i would really love it if we got the deal. but then again, there are many things to consider about. not just the deal the alone, but what about my studies and my ministries? either one's definitely going to be affected, or worse still both.

whenever there are my wants that i seek to satisfy, the HOLY SPIRIT (yes, the holy GHOST) always brings me back to this verse. well i can't remember what the verse is, think its maybe somewhere in timonthy? its about how a person can never love both God and the world because they are 2 very separate things. if im not wrong that verse also says something about how light and darkness can never be together?

how about shadows? they are darkness co-existing with light too right? or is it?

we're jamming tmr, and im excited about it. going to polish up on all our past recordings and also try out Yellowcard's Only One. i really hope we'll be able to co-ordinate Only One well. sometimes i think i set high expectations for ourselves (W.J) ? agree, disagree? its definitely more than the techincalities and mechanics. individuality maybe?

i need to sleep, or this shit will never end.

PANDA EVOLUTION.

behringer
v-tone gm108

can you believe it? its only $99, and its sound even better than a marshall. think its quite a good amp for starters. it comes with an analog that allows your sound to vary from a marhsall to a fender and a little twangy feel. all the grunge and twang in it. sensational.

here's how it looks like...
http://www.behringer.com/GM108/index.cfm?lang=ENG

gonna grab it tmr! and i didn't know excelsoir has that much guitar stores there now. and they're all going cheap. there's this shop that i really love, cos the owner's really warm and friendly. he even got his worker to demo some stuff with the amp. cool.

and just when i was testing the amp and with the guy demoing some stuff, the seft guys (andrew, geek faced guy and vincent q.m.s) were all behind me and i didn't even know it until i turned around. that geek faced guy was funny. he kept going, "hi.. hi.. hi..." non-stop. and they were all like, "hey! you're alone?" and im like, "hi. erm, ya. after church." and i felt so shy to be there with 3 guys you don't really know but you know, so i just quickly storm out of the shop.

they're really nice guys, i think. and i think they must be thinking, "wah. first time i've seen a girl alone trying out amps in guitar shops." and i felt like a guy then. yes thank you. and we were like saying hi to each other like some guy. you get what i mean?

and i remembered the other time when we were in j8 waiting for sihong, we all saw andrew and dear cheryl and we didn't dare to say hi to him, cos his girlfriend was so domineering and jealous looking. and initially when i saw them, i didn't dare to say hi, cos i thgt cheryl was there. woah man, she looks as if she'll slap whoever who says hi or smiles at her dear andrew.

im so excited about getting my amp tmr.

and have i mentioned this...

to where's jamie: maybe we should try doing originals already. feels alittle sick doing other people's songs all the time. time to allow our creative juices to reign in us, and God help me with tunes and melodies man!

was exprimenting with some this morning b4 i rushed off to church. shall work on them this holiday. and maybe try it with some of those i wrote. not the crappy ones of course.

NEWS ONLINE WITH COW NN (CNN)

an eyeopener, i'd call it.

you never really know what's going on, because everyone hides their true self.

i didn't know there were actually so much happenings going on in our class, until yesterday when all the beans were spilled, and the cats were let out of their bags. its really, "WOW. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT HAPPENED."

we played something like a truth or dare thing, asking some guys who they felt was the prettiest and ugliest, easiest to get along, the loudest, the rudest. it's quite funny to watch them react to such things, and they all seem to have a common goal and target. well, i still dislike gee-zy cos he's a big time superficial flirt. i've got really nothing to say about such egoistic 'pretty face'.

and then we went to the gallery to observe people. it was hilarious, cos we saw the 3rd stall yong tau foo uncle digging his nose and then flicking/ wiping it somewhere else. and the food smelt really good. and audrey keeps farting, and at first i thgt it was the smell of the prawns, cos at that time the waiters and waitresses were all serving some praw dish. her fart really stinks! and she does this when she farts:

farts --> covers ears --> fans her fart away -->

wish you were there? better not.

she's a freakin damn bitch
fugly hell out of a ass

we got our report slips today, and its better compared to last year. but still very disheartening and discouraging, cos there was the peice of yellow post-it attached from manson leaw. it really makes you feel that bad within, cos it feels like no matter how hard you try and how little those improvements are, they all seem so small and insignificant in their sight.

i really wonder, do i study for myself, or just to please these people who are constantly breathing down our necks. this is just freaking sick.

and im starting to hate t.s.t. she's not that nice after all, and she's very fruiting biase. i can't stand her man. but i shall be nice to her, since she's ms chionh's good friend? i really feel like slapping her in the face. like the the fruit was she thinking. is it wrong to have your head down on your table, while reading a poem? even if im eye-balling it, so what?!

screw you, old bitch!

i seriously hate you now. and don't blame us if we don't do well for lit, COS ITS REALLY NOT OUR FAULT SOMETIMES. you only have yourself to blame, sunken bitch. you come to class, and throw your stinking tantrum, and we're not that smart people alright. you're making me hate that subject, even if it used to be my favourite of the favourites. but its all because of YOU.

i really wish you could just F.O.D

seriously, I TOOK WHATEVER YOU SAID PERSONALLY.

your crude remarks and whatever not, THE CLASS HATES IT.

F.O.D

i don't care what people will say
cos im running after you

well. correction. i don't care what people will say, cos im aware of the things i've done and said and how its reflecting upon myself, and it really doesn't matter that much to me.

some bloody idiot -points at terkey- is finally blogging more mature stuff, instead of the mundane things like eating and shiting. maybe only for today, COS ITS SOMEONE'S BIRDAY!

to you:
i'll never show how much i treasure our friendship, but i do. and i know you are very hurt, cos someone isn't responding to all the things you've done for that someone. even after so many years of fun and 'friendship' together. perhaps i'll never know how it feels because im not the one affected by it, but i really hope you are doing alright. there's still God remember?

to you:
nothing really bothers me.

so much for all i've got to say.


her hearts on the line
left in despair
the line's broken
she saw through the peices of her broken shadows

out of the circle;
amidst the gossips

im feeling excited about tomorrow, cos its some bloody asshole's birday. and crystal got her something really really nice, i think.

and im pissed with the dumb ava talk today. its totally dumb and discouraging. and most of all, I FAILED ONLY 2 SUBS and I PASSED ENGLISH for god's sake. i really hope its a mistake, and it'd better be.

mrs marilyn manson l _ _ w is so fruitted up. that extremely choleric gothic old panda. she speaks so loudly into the mic (and YES, ITS A MIC!) and very quickly also. she's so timely. and i used to think she was gentle and nice last time. well, she's anything but it.

and im very amused by this...

jiayi: bella, you're phlegmatic right?
me: ha, yah. isn't that obvious?

yes im phlegmatic.

lefty; righty?

You Are 40% Left Brained, 60% Right Brained

The left side of your brain controls verbal ability, attention to detail, and reasoning. Left brained people are good at communication and persuading others. If you're left brained, you are likely good at math and logic. Your left brain prefers dogs, reading, and quiet. The right side of your brain is all about creativity and flexibility. Daring and intuitive, right brained people see the world in their unique way. If you're right brained, you likely have a talent for creative writing and art. Your right brain prefers day dreaming, philosophy, and sports.

Are You Right or Left Brained?

You Are As Cool As They Come

(You are more dramatic than 20% of the population.) Rational and relaxed, no one could accuse you of being dramatic. You roll with the punches, and nothing ever gets you too worked up. You are able to maintain perspective and see the big picture. And even if you're emotional inside, you don't let it show. You're great at keeping it together, and you're rewarded for that. People see you as an ideal friend, employee, and partner.

Are You a Drama Queen (or King)?

i guess nothing matters
now everyone's reconciliated

what can i say, SERVICE WAS SUPERB. though i was very very lost during the sermon. but yea, praise and worship was awesome. for the first time, crystal and i we were enjoying the music and the atmosphere. we jumped and danced like mad women on loose. but it was awesome.

totally sensational.

i was locked out of my house today, cos my parents were fooling around with each other and they double locked the door. they thought i was dumb, and i spoilt their fun by returning home earlier than before. my parents are lousy liars.


it's a multi-purpose checkered thing

jiayi wants me to do THIS.

I'VE

COMPLETED

MY

SEC. FOUR

CHINESE

REVISION

!!!!

and this means im down with sec 1,2 and 3 left.

now, i feel a little ready for the chinese o's already.

have fun everyone, COS SHE IS SURE HAPPY WITH HERSELF.

on sunken ground

have you ever felt helpless
frustrated, all at the same time?
the pressure's on, the heat's turned up
you know yourself more than the world knows you
vindictive verbalisations;
never revealing what's true
a lost friend in the wilderness
sinking, waiting
no one came

short lived dreams, shortlived hopes living past what's worth
for the drag was where she lies now
scarring her wounds ever again, in a never-ending terrain
she prayed that night with much faith for wishful thinking
a price to pay to amend for all she's done
everything isn't worth all it costs