eventful fright

school started off on a really frightful note. this freaky shit ass person, at least 44 years old, came up near my seat when i was on bus 69, stared really hard at someone in my direction (this i really hope is not me) and then took out his camera phone and snapped a couple of shots. (i really really hope its not me). after that, he continued staring standing at the exact same spot. when i looked at him to see if he was staring at me or what, he stared even harder. and somewhat i have this feeling i was the person he was taking the picture of, cos when i caught him snapping that picture, he stared at me again, and continue snapping. i freaked out and stared out of the window.

then the man went to sit at the the seats that were facing the entire bus, and he continued to stare. this lady in front of me, got so freaked out she got off the bus. and the man still kept staring at me/in my direction.

but what made me confirm that he was staring at me was, when i got off the bus to check if he had followed me or if he was still staring, i found him he peering out of the window and staring at me all the way til i climbed the bridge.

FREAK SHOW! i was so scared, my palms turned clammy. please pray, he's not one of those kidnappers, who'll get me featured in the next season of 'Missing' on Channel5. for the first time in my live, i really understood what fear was all about- perennial fear.

i really hope i don't ever meet that person again. so maybe for a change i'll start taking a different bus route.

ess gra skill test was a major screw up. horrible. i didn't know we had to recreate a vector image, and all i did was to crop the picture and call it a complete piece of work. not until my teacher came to me and asked if i've completed the freehand one, which was the vector image. so i failed miserably. okay so its going to be a F. F for funeral. everybody mourn with me, send me those white chrysanthamums. come on baby, flood my grave with your love.

but, God is still good.

Love for Enemies

"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you maybe sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his suns to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, wat reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your borthers, what are you dong more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therfore, as your heavenly Father is perfect."

-Matthew 5: 43-48

I really hate this bitch (a literal female dog) in class. I can't believe I'm actually helping her out with her individual assignment. i think she needs to go change her face, and hide away from existance.

to myself: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HELPING HER?! WHY ARE YOU EVEN GIVING AWAY IDEAS YOU COULD HAVE USED FOR YOURSELF?! ITS GOING TO GROW INTO A MUCH MORE FANTASTIC STORY THAN WHAT YOU HAVE, YOU DIM WIT! IF SHE GETS AN A, SHE'S NOT EVEN GOING TO THANK YOU, AND ALL CREDIT GOES TO HER. SHE WON'T EVEN ACKNOWLEDGE THAT BRILLIANT STORY PLAN YOU FOOLISHLY DONATED.

for the love of God, i'll try VERY HARD to not be calculating with you.

sign off,
sinner (hopping with anger)

the complete incomplete

from what i've read, i feel suddenly so insensitive to certain people in my life. they include the friends in school. and i really mean insensitivity in a literal manner of being not-sensitive to a person, which obviously takes the form of never expressing how much i really care and am bothered about them.

i am asian, cultural, and conservative.

i fear bearing my emotions naked in-front of people. even to my closest friends, i hold certain reservations. which also explains why i feel mostly uncomfortable about sharing some songs i write (sound so bloody cliche here). but i'm still trying to improve on that.

can't believe how stupidly emo im getting. but its really something i read, and the raw emotions channeled to that writing that evokes so much.

now when i see happy people, i'll know its a whole different story within them.

goodnight everyone.
i've got a date with the lion or elephant tamer tomorrow.

let's bow our heads in reverence

remember the I heart PARTY GIRLS t-shirt i own? i wore it to school on thursday, and whew, what an embarrassment. but i'll continue wearing that shirt to school, just not on thursdays.

well as you know, i have GDesFund lectures every thursday. fyi, soon3 kueh is the lecturer for that class.

this what what happenend as i was busy chatting with someone seated beside me...

as i was busy chatting...
s.kueh: what party...?
(lect halls turns silent and everyone seems to be staring at me AGAIN!)
s.kueh: I love... can you stand up?
me: (thinking shit what again?)
s.kueh: oh i love party girls... see the heart there. the element of design and logo.
me: -says rather quietly- yah the heart's on my chest somemore!
s.kueh: -laughs- what's your name?
me: bella.
s.kueh: OH. that's an easy name to remember!

then after a while on one of ms. s.kueh's slides... a logo of BELLA SKIN CARE!

me: OH SHIT WHAT THE FUCK.
s.kueh: that wasn't on purpose. i just wanted to show certain examples of logo types.
me: yes i see its purely coincidental.

its so difficult to NOT have fun in school, given such circumstances. and yay, i finally learnt how to photo edit faces on photoshop! next time i can remove your eye bags, make you look like you had a NOSE job, press your ears back if you have dumbo ears, and even let you try different hair colours before you do a proper dye!

one more thing,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BUDDHA! (its vesak day)

rebels for a holy cause

today was my audition as a e. guitarist for the musician team. was told to prepare one praise song, and another worship. but i prepared only Planetshaker's Not Ashamed for praise. i didn't prepare a worship one cos i don't normally play them. until i got a msg from one of the sisters, informing me that it was compulsory to have a praise and a worhip song to audition for.

thank god for jocelyn. she taught me a worship song on the spot. she's also a fanatastic accoustic player.

in total i played...
1. part of Not Ashamed
2. Basket Case though pretty tempted to do Enter Sandman (rhythem only of course)
3. think its called My Heart, Your Home
4. Here Without You

songs #2 and #4 were played because i knew no other christian songs. song #4 was played cos he wanted to test if i knew alternate picking.

its quite a pity i can't scale, which is something every e.guitarist should know. the only scale i know is the almight Aminor pentatonic, major scale and alittle on the blues scale.

well i certainly do hope everything turns out well.

if its in God's plan...